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Abusive teen
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 711375" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I agree.</p><p></p><p>Nobody should live like this. Not even a loving mother. You are in danger. Physically and emotionally. Nor is it good for your son, that he be your perpetrator. Anything you can do to take control, of a non-violent nature, is good for him, including involving the police, foster care, or ongoing residential treatment until he is 18. I have read about parents who forfeit parental rights so that their child gets necessary treatment. But most important, is that you save and protect yourself. You are worth that, and more.</p><p></p><p>My mother felt that I enabled my own son. She did not tell me directly but when her mind began to slip, she let it slip.</p><p></p><p>I do not believe this was a matter of not spanking your son. Being a single mother is very hard for some of us, especially those among us who have trouble with boundaries, or who may have been abused as children or as adults. That said, this is a situation that has answers--you will find them, and put them in place.</p><p></p><p>It is a question of knowing what you need, support, and taking steps, one by one. I agree with KSM about help from school, and also help from law enforcement, social services and probation.</p><p></p><p>Your son needs to face consequences of his actions, no matter the diagnoses. To be honest, I do not believe the two of you should be living together after what has transpired. First, you are not safe. </p><p></p><p>And how can you walk this back? There is too much water under the bridge. Where will he get the self-control and skills he needs, while living in an environment where he acts out so seriously?</p><p></p><p>He needs first to be contained and restrained, until he gets the treatment and stability to learn to contain himself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 711375, member: 18958"] I agree. Nobody should live like this. Not even a loving mother. You are in danger. Physically and emotionally. Nor is it good for your son, that he be your perpetrator. Anything you can do to take control, of a non-violent nature, is good for him, including involving the police, foster care, or ongoing residential treatment until he is 18. I have read about parents who forfeit parental rights so that their child gets necessary treatment. But most important, is that you save and protect yourself. You are worth that, and more. My mother felt that I enabled my own son. She did not tell me directly but when her mind began to slip, she let it slip. I do not believe this was a matter of not spanking your son. Being a single mother is very hard for some of us, especially those among us who have trouble with boundaries, or who may have been abused as children or as adults. That said, this is a situation that has answers--you will find them, and put them in place. It is a question of knowing what you need, support, and taking steps, one by one. I agree with KSM about help from school, and also help from law enforcement, social services and probation. Your son needs to face consequences of his actions, no matter the diagnoses. To be honest, I do not believe the two of you should be living together after what has transpired. First, you are not safe. And how can you walk this back? There is too much water under the bridge. Where will he get the self-control and skills he needs, while living in an environment where he acts out so seriously? He needs first to be contained and restrained, until he gets the treatment and stability to learn to contain himself. [/QUOTE]
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