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acceptance
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 701532" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Jodie, good job on your realizations, I know how hard it is to get to that acceptance you speak of. </p><p></p><p>That 'light bulb' seems to be dim for quite awhile, until we begin to walk out of the FOG of enabling and see the clarity underneath our love, fear, sorrow and deep concern for our adult kids. It seems to take some time for us to see the truth in what the serenity prayer says so succinctly......."<em>accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."</em> That "wisdom to know the difference" took me years to work out because I just couldn't accept what was, I thought I could power through and control and fix and rescue and save.......once I began recognizing my own fierce powerlessness, I was on my way to that acceptance. No easy feat.</p><p></p><p>Your kids and my daughter are in their 40's now, the time of parenting is over, it is their lives to do with as they choose and it is our duty to ourselves to live life to the fullest not tethered to the behaviors and usually poor choices of our adult children. I'm glad you've come to these realizations, keep us posted on how your life changes as a result. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 701532, member: 13542"] Jodie, good job on your realizations, I know how hard it is to get to that acceptance you speak of. That 'light bulb' seems to be dim for quite awhile, until we begin to walk out of the FOG of enabling and see the clarity underneath our love, fear, sorrow and deep concern for our adult kids. It seems to take some time for us to see the truth in what the serenity prayer says so succinctly......."[I]accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."[/I] That "wisdom to know the difference" took me years to work out because I just couldn't accept what was, I thought I could power through and control and fix and rescue and save.......once I began recognizing my own fierce powerlessness, I was on my way to that acceptance. No easy feat. Your kids and my daughter are in their 40's now, the time of parenting is over, it is their lives to do with as they choose and it is our duty to ourselves to live life to the fullest not tethered to the behaviors and usually poor choices of our adult children. I'm glad you've come to these realizations, keep us posted on how your life changes as a result. :) [/QUOTE]
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