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<blockquote data-quote="jetsam" data-source="post: 701542" data-attributes="member: 20689"><p>I guess I have been codependent for so long that I have difficulty with that. I loved doing things for my son even when i finally took a look at what i was doing it was hard to feel bad about it! I had always been the doer! for my husband, son daughter...I guess the resentment started creeping in when i would see appreciation from my husband and daughter but not my son. I am guilty of doing for all of them. But at a naranon meeting one night they described it as enabling was doing for someone what they could do for themselves. Now my husband and daughter can do for themselves ,but they appreciate what i do and will also express that. Like," mom you don't have to do that, I can do it myself." In any regard I started taking a harder look at my behavior and saw how terribly I enabled my son and since he has a drug abuse problem how terribly detrimental it is for him especially! I have since tried to put that behavior more in check. Im not a pro at it yet, but my husband and daughter both see the change and have made positive comments about it. so i continue on my journey, doing my little cha-cha dance with myself lol. But I do feel better about my behavior as a whole. I will continue to do this, because in the end i know how necessary it is if my son is ever going to stop being a man child and stand on his own 2 feet.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jetsam, post: 701542, member: 20689"] I guess I have been codependent for so long that I have difficulty with that. I loved doing things for my son even when i finally took a look at what i was doing it was hard to feel bad about it! I had always been the doer! for my husband, son daughter...I guess the resentment started creeping in when i would see appreciation from my husband and daughter but not my son. I am guilty of doing for all of them. But at a naranon meeting one night they described it as enabling was doing for someone what they could do for themselves. Now my husband and daughter can do for themselves ,but they appreciate what i do and will also express that. Like," mom you don't have to do that, I can do it myself." In any regard I started taking a harder look at my behavior and saw how terribly I enabled my son and since he has a drug abuse problem how terribly detrimental it is for him especially! I have since tried to put that behavior more in check. Im not a pro at it yet, but my husband and daughter both see the change and have made positive comments about it. so i continue on my journey, doing my little cha-cha dance with myself lol. But I do feel better about my behavior as a whole. I will continue to do this, because in the end i know how necessary it is if my son is ever going to stop being a man child and stand on his own 2 feet. [/QUOTE]
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