Actually Made Progress Today

[Bunny]

difficult child has been having meltdowns lately about where I put his clean laundry after I fold it. I've always placed it on his bed for him to put away, but for some reason in the last few weeks that's not what he wants. He wants me to throw it on the floor. Ummm...not going to happen. So, this morning I asked him why it was bothering him that the laundry was on the bed. He says he doesn't know, it just does. I told him that I was really not keen on the idea of putting clean laundry on the floor and did he have any ideas about where else I could put it that would work for both of us. He couldn't come up with anything so I told him to think about it. Later, after school, he asked me to come into his room (this was after a MAJOR meltdown about something totally different, so I really was not in the mood to deal with him, but I put on my happy mommy face and went anyway) and he told me that he cleared off a shelf on the book case and could I put the laundry there? YES!!! We worked it out!

Maybe I'm not as bad a mother as I think I am!

 

[KTMom91]

I'm glad you were able to work it out.

I used to fold Miss KT's laundry, place it back in the basket, and set the basket on her bed, ready for her to put it away. Then she would upend the basket on the floor and complain...so I stopped folding. Then when the complaints continued...I stopped doing her laundry.

 

[Marguerite]

Well done, Bunny! Collaborative Problem Solving at its best! He also has ownership of the solution and he himself was proactive in coming up with a good response to your quesiton (and explanation - we don't put clean clothing on a dirty floor).

This sets the pattern for other possible collaborative solutions.

Marg

 

[Shari]

That's awesome!!!

Kt, you crack me up. And the story goes on....once, she ate a moldy muffin, and called me to complain, so I just stopped feeding her, too... Ok, sorry.

The CPS model is amazing. I think it should be taught to everyone, quite frankly. I know a bunch of adults that would benefit...

 

[Bunny]

Thank you!! I was relly quite pleased that it worked and he was willing to work with me to find a solution. It worked so well that I tried it again later last night to see if we can work out his screaming fits then both of the kids need me at the same time. I help first whoever I think needs me the most at that moment and he always thinks that I help easy child more than I help him, which of course, leads to problems. So, I have him trying to think of solutions that would work for all. We'll see how that one goes.

Pam

 

[DaisyFace]

Bunny--

Good for you for finding a solution that works!

I used to fold Miss KT's laundry, place it back in the basket, and set the basket on her bed, ready for her to put it away. Then she would upend the basket on the floor and complain...so I stopped folding. Then when the complaints continued...I stopped doing her laundry.

O my goodness - does THIS sound familiar! My difficult child used to do the same thing...

Then recently, she stopped emptying the basket altogether and just started throwing dirty laundry into the basket on top of clean, folded laundry.

So last week, I told her to bring me her basket and I just emptied the dryer into her basket and told her to get her basket and put the clothes away.

She waited...

and waited....

and waited.

Why was she waiting?

Because Mom hadn't folded her clean clothes for her! (Heaven forbid!)

When difficult child eventually got her basket...did she fold the clothes? Of course not - that's Mom's job.

--sigh--

 

[idohope]

Definitely a victory. Good for you for putting on the happy Mom face even when you did not feel like it. You and difficult child both reaped the benefits. It is great to see CPS working.