ADHD and friendship

[Malika]

Something I have read often on this forum is that ADHD children have difficulty with friendships and are often isolated.
Could those with more knowledge and experience of this explain a little of why this is? What, if anything, can be done to help such children form and retain friendships?

 

[DaisyFace]

Malika--

I'm not sure that that is always true of ADHD...

My ADHD son has no trouble making and maintaining friendships.

Is your son having difficulties with friends?

 

[BusynMember]

My ADD daughter is one of the most popular kids at school. Often there are other things that co-exist with ADHD and they can make it difficult. In the US, we have social skills classes.

 

[Loony Smurf]

Before my son was diagnosed he was so hyper that he accidentally broke things, didnt think before he spoke and said mean things, he was impulsive and took things or got in a hurry and pushed past someone...careless mistakes on schoolwork... these things added up to other kids having a hard time tolerating him. he made friends ok, but he didnt keep them very long.

Now is much better by the way since his ADHD is under control.

 

[KTMom91]

My daughter is nearly 20 years old, and still has trouble keeping friends. She simply wears people out, runs off at the mouth, and people get tired of her attitude and drama. Honestly, I don't know if that will ever change. A book that helped me understand her a bit better was "It's So Much Work To Be Your Friend!" by Rick Lavoie.

 

[Malika]

So it would seem the hyperactivity/impulsiveness almost always cause problems, right? In terms of my son, I think people generally like him because he is endearing, social, but also find it hard to tolerate him for long... I think he already suffers some rejection because of this, which he feels deeply. Equally, though, I think many kids probably have a harder time than we realise socialising... the very shy ones who hang back all the time, for example. I don't know how one can help. I feel children learn more with and from their peers, in some ways, than in any other way...

 

[HaoZi]

Socialization is something he will learn mostly from his peers in the long run. I've had friends that were ADHD and yes, they can wear you out, but they can also inspire with their energy and get-go depending on how they direct it. Learning to tell the difference or pull himself away before he wears out his welcome is part of learning to socialize (I freely admit it's an area I'm not good at).

 

[dashcat]

My difficult child's situation is very much the same as KT's mom explained. She does have two true-blue friends ...the kind of people who can see the good (and there is plenty of good) in her an who hang in there through the rest. I thank God for these girls, but even they have had to take breaks from time to time. It always broke my heart that my daughter would shun invitations to go the the movies or to dinner with a group of girls from HS just so she could hang out and IM with the guy of the week. Much of it was her choice, but it still made me sad.

Dash