Admitted difficult child yesterday...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by butterflydreams, Jul 2, 2008.

  1. Well yesterday was the day. difficult child was admitted to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC).

    After discussing with psychiatrist on Friday at difficult child's monthly appointment, he said he would "feel around the edges" with difficult child to determine if he could handle the news that he was going in. psychiatrist called me later in the day and said he believed difficult child could handle the news that he was going to Residential Treatment Center (RTC), he said to be sure to explain it was for treatment not for punishment. So Friday evening after dinner, I broke the news. difficult child cried at first and said he didn't want to go. I just calmly explained to him that I knew he had been working hard, but the doctor and I were concerned that if he didn't get this help now that he would get really sick again soon. I told him that he wasn't being punished but that this was to help him. He asked when he was going, I told him and then he said he didn't want to discuss it anymore. Saturday and Sunday he made brief comments about the number of days and then Monday morning, he was teary eyed when he got up, and asked since it was his last full day home could we have takeout with milkshakes for dinner.

    Yesterday difficult child's anxiety level was up, which I was expecting, so I bumped his Seroquel up a bit, which seemed to help. My parents came over about an hour before we were due to leave - we couldn't be there until 3pm because apparently the child that was leaving wasn't due to be gone until 1:30 and then it was shift change. About 2:45pm difficult child said "well we might as well leave now, lets get this over with". After we arrived, difficult child was still pretty anxious - he couldn't sit still and bounced between his grandparents and the area where I was sitting signing forms. He was asking all sorts of questions like "is there a video game system" or "what time is gym" or "can I have a journal" and when he sat down, he was shredding Kleenex left and right.

    I walked back to the unit with difficult child and then gave him a hug and told him I would be back in a couple of days to visit.

    I have to say it went alot better than anticipated. psychiatrist had told me he really thought it would go well, because he believes that difficult child knows he needs help and wants to get better.

    I have heard good things about the psychiatrist who will be taking care of him, so we will see. They told me he is really good at getting medications straightened around too, which I told them I wanted accomplished.

    Now I can breathe deeply and not worry about our safety, knowing he is getting help. I can focus on getting easy child situated - trying to get to the bottom of some of her issues. easy child is taking her drivers test this afternoon before she goes to her psychiatrist appointment.

  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Whew. So glad that went well. He sounds like a good kid.
    I know you want some answers and I hope you get them quickly.
    I like his Q about whether they have a video game system. :)
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like it went pretty smoothly. Hoping they can get you some answers and help him to feel better. Hugs to you.
  4. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    (((((HUGS))))) I'm glad it went smoothly but I also know how it hurts. I hope they can help him find the tools he needs to survive this world as an adult. When you have doubts and want to pull him out, just remember what he and you were going through prior to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). They'll make it a little more tolerable.
  5. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Glad your difficult child is going to be in a place that can help him and that things went smoothly. I am sure you heart in hurting. I hope the situation improves and difficult child gets the help he needs.

  6. night4now

    night4now New Member

    What a choice that must be! I dont know as I would handle the situation nearly as well as you and your son did. Good luck! Lets hope it gets him what he needs.
  7. You know, my stomach has been in turmoil for weeks now over this. It is so hard, but I know it is so necessary! I have real mixed emotions over him being gone at least 3 months. I just know that we were headed for another possible acute situation in the near future and after have 3 acute hospitalizations and 2 partials in less than 1 year, I know that he needs more intensive help. When I spoke with psychiatrist we discussed this.

    As far as how I handled it, I prayed and prayed for guidance and the right words to say and also prayed for difficult child's heart and mind to be open to receiving help. I have to say I wasn't looking forward to the conversation telling him he was going in, it was the 2nd worst conversation of my life - the 1st being when I had to tell difficult child and his sister that their father had died.

    Thanks for all the support. I have learned so much by coming to this site and I know I will continue to learn as I continue to come here.

  8. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    So sad... :( I hope that he will be better and out soon. It's better that he goes in now rather than wait until he is really bad off. His stay will be shorter this way. Give him a big hug from his aunties.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am glad that the weekend and the trip to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) went safely. Can those things ever go well?? Sounds like he asked about the 2 important things when you are a kid - gym and video games! Maybe you can give a new video game to the unit when he leaves as a thank you, if one is warranted.

    I am glad you have this time to focus on your issues and easy child's. while it sounds like forever, the 3 months will go by fairly quickly. I hope difficult child learns and grows while he is at Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and that the psychiatrist can get his medications straightened out.


  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm glad the transition went as well as it did. I hope he will get the help he needs and you can use this time to recharge and focus on you and easy child. Gentle hugs.
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    That's sounds really hard- I would be in tears even though it went so much better than anticipated. I guess sometimes those tears are because we are accepting just a little more. It does sound like difficult child must know this could help him. I noticed that after my son was about 12 1/2yo, he noticed more things about himself, and even though he hasn't overcome them all by any means, he has become more willing to say something is going on with him and accept help when he trusts it. This is a critical time to provide whatever help we can, in my humble opinion. You are doing that, so as much as it MUST hurt, I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that you are gving him the best you can.
  12. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I think you handled it very well. You indeed received the guidance that you prayed for.

    My heart broke when you said that he was shredding kleenex...of course, that is past of why he is there.

    Many hugs, and prayers that this is a good thing.
  13. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    You must be so proud of difficult child. For him to acknowledge that this is for his good is such a large step toward healing. But it still hurts so bad. :( I will never forget leaving my difficult child at a psychiatric hospital. He had begged for this help but had only been away from home overnight without a parent maybe 2 times in 11 years. That was also very hard for him - I reminded him that he had said he would do anything to feel better and that meant staying here and not being able to call mom whenever.

    I also remember him saying to me a week later, "Mom, do you know what I hate most about being here? It is that you don't get to watch me grow up." The right psychiatric hospital will help your child "grow".

    So lots of support and sending strength your way.
  14. Thank you all so much! It is so comforting to me to have you all around and hear your guidance and comfort. It is so comforting to have people who know what you feel and why you do what you do.

  15. slsh

    slsh member since 1999


    I'm truly in awe here. You sound so together and I think you handled telling difficult child ahead of time as well as the admission with so much thoughtfulness and grace!

    I hope that it's a productive period of time for him. I also very much hope that you are able to take this time to give both yourself and your daughter some much needed TLC. It's okay to enjoy life while difficult child is gone, it's okay to heal and recoup and take care of yourself. He's in good hands.

    A gentle hug to you - I know this was difficult for you.