Is it possible that symptoms begin, or become more noticeable in high school? Is it possible that my 16 year old son is well behaved at school and at friends homes but is defiant and disrespectful at home, to the point that no one wants to be around him? Is it OCC or a personality disorder? Any comments would be so appreciated.
 
T

TeDo

Guest
I'm not sure what to tell you. Are you saying that EVERYTHING was PERFECTLY fine before now? If that is the case, I would highly suspect drug use. Being defiant comes with adolescence but if I'm reading your post right, this is WAY above that level. If things have been building over the last several years, more information would be very helpful to steer you in the right direction.


Welcome to our little corner of the world. Others will be along so please be patient. There are parents here who are far more knowledgeable than I am. My kids aren't there yet so my experience is somewhat limited.
 

2confused

New Member
I am new to the forum, and could have posted the exact question. My son appears to function quite well "outside" of the home, but at home is another story alltogether. His therapist believes that since he can control himself outside, he is using defiance and manipulation at home to try to get what he wants. His friends and peers would never accept his behavior, and therefore he's able to maintain composure in that setting. At home, however, he thinks he can manipulate any situation. We have had problems for almost a year... and no - he was never a perfect child, but certainly nothing like we are seeing now with puberty, hormones, and experimenting with pot/alcohol. He has been diagnosis with ODD, and is awaiting further testing.
 

buddy

New Member
Really tough question... There are many kids who have trouble at home and not so much out of home because they use every ounce of energy to hold it together when out of the home then fall apart. If they have never had issues of any kind before though?? I just dont know.... I would for sure ask for assessments to see what is up....

Any additional information you can share???? Maybe it will ring a bell with other board members...2confused you should start a thread explaining your situation more too..... lots of wise folks here! HUGS to you both... Dee
 
Thank you everyone so much for the input. I did consider drug use, but no, that's not it. My son has always been a "challenge" to parent and it took much more effort and thought on my part than for my older son. The defiant behavior has been with us since early middle school but was nothing that was unmanageable. Since high school, the words and behavior that come from him when he's angry or doesn't get his way are unbelievable to me - it's as if he becomes a different person. His school counselor says there are no behavior issues whatsoever at school and thinks he may be angry at home about something but not talking about what that is. We have an appointment next week for an assessment and I am so hoping for some answers.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
Who is the appointment with? The type of professional who does the assessment does affect what they are looking for.

Has he ever had assessments before? at school or otherwise?
What kinds of behaviours were happening back in middle-school?
Any struggles at all with school work?
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Not to be pushy (honest!), but I'm trying to help.

How do you know he isn't using drugs? We had a drug user and she changed very quickly and denied and hid her drug use for a long time. This can be tricky. Difficult kids are more apt to try drugs than easier compliant kids.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
I'll expand on MWM... because we're kind of on the same page.

I'm guessing, at this point, that the current issues are going to be the result of:
1) a group of "smaller" problems that were not caught earlier (missed dxes), and the issues have compounded,
OR
2) drug use plain and simple,
OR
3) drug use as an attempt (conscious or unconscious) to self-medicate due to problems in 1)

We dealt with 1). I've seen BOTH of the others in families we know.
 
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