Adolesent Behaviors

[ML]

Is it fairly common to see an increase in bad behaviors as our kids go through pueberty? Are increases in medications likely, etc.? I have been seeing an increase in acting out, melting down, anger, out of control of emotions lately and it's been quite a ride. His emotions are all over the place, but mostly anger and frustration. I know many of these behaviors are hallmark,emerging "typical teen" stuff but it must be even more difficult for our kids.

Anyone out there going through this? Can anyone offer advice or encouragement?

 

[lovingmum96]

Hello,

I'm new here and while I don't have a clue about medications etc (sorry), I can offer encouragement; as an educator I really feel empathy for middle schoolers. There is usually a distinct change in behavior accompanying a growth spurt.

The hormones aren't measured exactly and kids don't know how to effectively handle new emotions (or know where their bodies start and end -- their sense of proprioception is off....so they get clumsy). I have two adolescents at home who are handling these changes completely differently.

My heart really goes out to these kids -- they are physically big and emerging as adults, but their needs and wants are still very kiddish -- The good news is that this seems to come in waves -- big changes start around 6th grade tapering off at the end of 8th grade, then start up again around 10th grade. My 13 year old seems to be at the end of some changes. Good thoughts to you --

Is it fairly common to see an increase in bad behaviors as our kids go through pueberty? Are increases in medications likely, etc.? I have been seeing an increase in acting out, melting down, anger, out of control of emotions lately and it's been quite a ride. His emotions are all over the place, but mostly anger and frustration. I know many of these behaviors are hallmark,emerging "typical teen" stuff but it must be even more difficult for our kids.

Anyone out there going through this? Can anyone offer advice or encouragement?

 

[wakeupcall]

ML, my difficult child is at his absolute WORST for attitude! He's angry all the time, can't say a civil word to ANYone, grunts a reply rather than speaking.....it's just awful. I have no idea what to do. I'm sick to death of taking his phone, bike, tv, ANY privileges as discipline, because he couldn't care less!! I just want to slap his face off many times throughout the day. I know a lot of it is being a young teen, but how long is this going to last? My other two older children weren't even CLOSE to this disrespectful.

 

[KTMom91]

In a word, yes. Miss KT was beyond awful during the early teenage years.

 

[susiestar]

They are full of hormones and just go bonkers for a while. I remember not understanding why so many things bothered me, or why I was so on edge all the time. SO many things bugged me even more than usual. My sensory issues went off the chart at about the same time. While eating at the same time my dad ate was always a challenge, during my teen years it was nearly impossible. He smacks and slurps and chews with his mouth open. I can remember many times where I excused myself after eating almost nothing so that I could go get sick because seeing and hearing him eat bothered me so much. My bro did all these things on purpose to make me sick too. Family dinners were NOT a good time for me then. Other sensory problems also became more intense. Food textures, smells, perfume, the way certain fabrics felt, ALL of it was magnified during my early teens.

Wiz was absolutely awful as a young teen. Truly horrible. Much more violent, really defiant, determined to make me follow his rules instead of him following the house rules that had been in place forever. It really is not a fun time to be a kid, or that kid's parent.

 

[BusynMember]

I have a lovely easy child who is also showing the signs of early teenhood (she will turn 14 next week). She doesn't even HAVE any behavior problems, but she is far more mouthy than she used to be. The fun of teenagers!!!

 

[DammitJanet]

I almost spit my drink out at your question...lol. The purpose of puberty is to get hormones to drive parents batty. For real. It lasts until they turn 25 or so. Then they come out somewhat coherent human beings you can talk to and enjoy.

Everything is magnified exponentially if you have a difficult child but even so called normal kids are not immune to puberty so just hang on for the long run. We will be here with you...lmao.

Remember...I came here when Cory was 12....he is fixing to turn 24 in two months!

 

[ML]

lol.. I guess I did sort of state the obvious but I needed some confirmation that it's all part of the package. Janet I can't believe Corey is going to be 24. OMG.

 

[JJJ]

Yes it is part of the typical teen years. All four of mine will be teens - AT THE SAME TIME.

I will lose my mind.

 

[tiredmommy]

Ummm... Duckie is already acting this way at 9! We're in real trouble here!

 

[DammitJanet]

All of mine were in their teens at the same time too...I made it through but Lady Clairol is my best friend...lol.

Honestly though, they do come out the other side. Now mine are all in their mid to late 20's (gasp!) and get along great. I have no idea when that happened. I swear I am still the same age as when I had them...lol.

 

[graceupongrace]

Adolescence is really a crazy-making time. Most difficult children lack maturity, but their hormones (and attitudes!) are in overdrive, so it's really a tough combination. My difficult child also had those crazy growth spurts, so for a while we were constantly making medication adjustments to keep up with gains in weight and body mass.

So glad to hear that they eventually come back around. Hope I last that long.

 

[TerryJ2]

I'm going to go live in a cave ...

 

[graceupongrace]

I have been seeing an increase in acting out, melting down, anger, out of control of emotions lately and it's been quite a ride. His emotions are all over the place, but mostly anger and frustration.

ML,

Depression in adolescents sometimes shows up as anger. Of course, the teen years are sort of an angry and frustrating time even for TTs. It's always good to make psychiatrist aware of changes in mood. (I'm sure you do that anyway.)

Having a difficult child can be like having a typical teen times 10.

Hugs.

 

[TerryJ2]

Having a difficult child can be like having a typical teen times 10.

Absolutely.

 

[Andy]

I have watched my sweet little Sunday School kids grow up over the years. Something happens to them at about the age 13. They leave 6th grade as a strong reminder of who they have been and enter 7th with a wild notion of who they might become. Although as individuals they are still wonderful kids, when they get together in a group, it is very chaotic. They are trying to outdo each other. Prove to the world that they are important (which they are but they don't seem to know how to receive that message). They get very annoying. I really think putting a bunch of them together in a locker room, swimming pool, lunch room, retreat, should be against the law!

They are going through their next big change of growing up. They are realizing how they fit into the bigger picture and although some still live as they are the center of the world, they do know they are not. Misbehavior is often time just an overburdenance of annoyance and very hard to explain to a teenager why they are annoying. They do whatever they feel like doing without thinking. They laugh at each other as a way to put the other person down to make them look better without realizing how they are hurting the other person.

Yes, terrible behaviors come out at adolescents as they start to push their boundaries to prove to themselves that they can handle a situation that their parents or other authorities are saying they are not ready for. difficult child's are often times the last to be ready for something so they act out even more. They see kids around them having responsibilities/priviledges that they don't understand why they themselves can not have. They see more of the family rules and what other parents seem to allow their kids to do and wonder why they are not allowed to. Adolescents are realizing that they are their own person with their own plans and ideas. They know that one day they will be in charge of their own destiny but for now the boundaries mom and dad have placed before them seem more like a brick wall than the windows and doors they must earn the keys to open. Many times instead of working on those keys, they believe the only answer is to tear the wall down (we feel the dynamite being used on the most terrible of days).

I didn't do too well with Diva's adolescent years and it is also often a fight to get through difficult child's and he just started! YIKES!!! Sometimes we have to slow the time down and get through one hour at a time.