Adoption Discussion went well

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by AllStressedOut, Sep 10, 2007.

  1. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    Well, we talked to all the boys about adopting my difficult children tonight. We haven't said anything because we wanted my difficult children to have time to heal some over the news of termination. Our attorney has been pushing for us to hurry up and go through the process because we'll be in front of the same judge and he doesn't like kids being in limbo.

    It started on the way home from the music store with my oldest easy child. I asked how he would feel if I adopted my difficult children. He said he didn't see the difference between now and adoption, so he had no problems with it.

    Then after dinner I took middle easy child and oldest easy child into my room and talked to middle easy child about it. I told oldest easy child he could break the news and he told middle easy child "I'm gay." Pre-teen joke I guess. Then since he was joking I told middle easy child "No, he's not gay, but the real news is, I'm not your mother." So we had thoroughly confused middle easy child at this point and then finally moved onto the real subject. He didn't have any problems either. He did ask "Does this mean I can punch them more?" Typical boy and just for the record, he isn't punching them now, but it's his way of teasing me/them.

    So we went back to the dinner table where everyone else was still eating and middle easy child asked if he could tell everyone. I told him it wasn't a "tell" thing that he had to ask how they'd feel about it. So he started off by "How would you feel if Mommy got the piece of paper that allowed her to make decisions about you and....." Okay so I stopped him there and told him to use the word and then he said "How would you feel if Mommy adopted you?"

    Well, my oldest difficult child said "Which one of us?" LMAO :rofl: I can pick? Whooo hooo! :dance: Okay, so I answered "All 3 of you." Well, middle difficult child was about to do a cheer in his seat, he squealed "YES!" Oldest difficult child said "Does that make you my real mom?" I said "That makes me your legal mom." He gave me two thumbs up. :thumbsup: :thumbsup: Then he asked "What about our other mom?" Well, husband and this time the D stands for "dumbbut*" says "She's gone." Uh, hello, WRONG ANSWER. So I asked difficult child "What about your other mom?" and he said "Well, can we still find her when we're 18." My reply was "It's better for you to wait until youngest difficult child is 18, but yes." Youngest difficult child didn't really seem to care about any of the conversation, but he said yes too.

    I'm sure I'll be hearing more about this for the days/weeks to come. I'm glad it went well with easy child's, I was really sweating it. They don't always get along with the difficult child's and I was worried they would be strongly against it, but they didn't see a huge difference in what I am now and being their legal mother. :whew:
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    That conversation had the possibility of going 17 thousand different ways. I am simply beaming that it went so well!

    Those children are so blessed to have you.
  3. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    Thanks BBK! I was soooo excited it went so well. At first I was so worried about PCs and then husband and I talked about the possibility my difficult children wouldn't want it either. It did go great! I'm thrilled! :smile:
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am soooo thrilled for you!! I am sorry that the difficult child's biomom turned out to be a loser. But the difficult child's are truly Gifts from God. And so are your pcs!

    This really could have been strined or difficult, but it sounds as though you and husband have already blended your family well. (I wish my family had been blended so well)

    Hugs and Congratulations!!

  5. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I adopted difficult child 2 two years ago january. Can't do difficult child 1 yet as she was already cina'd. Plan to when she is 18. I know sounds strange but she wants me to be her MOM in all ways.

    Glad it went so well. It can be hard. easy child wonders on a regular basis why I did so. I have explained it a lot but with all that happened to her she has her own feelings that she is most definately allowed to have.

    Good luck.

  6. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

  7. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow I agree that conversation could have gone many different ways but it sounds like it went great.

    by the way I have been telling my difficult child that she could locate her bm when she was 18 and I just recently found out that in Ohio she has to be 21 to get that information.

  8. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    I'd love it if my state was 21. I'll have to check that out. This would allow my youngest difficult child to be a bit older before they look her up. My biggest fear is that they find her and she gets them or my other kids into drugs. I doubt she'll have cleaned up by then, but I guess there is always hope.
  9. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have the same fears. I know our difficult child's bm has not gotten her life into order and I'm convinced any reunion would have a detrimental effect on difficult child. I'm trying to stall that reunion until difficult child is more mature and hopefully making good decisions in her life, so I was thrilled to find out the age was 21.

    Definitley check into that because I was just under the assumption ours was 18 but it isn't.

  10. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    What would I search for? When I did a google search I came up with places to join to register, but no info on age requirements.
  11. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I went to google and typed in "age requirement for adoptees to locate birthparents in Ohio". A lot of different links came up and I kept going through them until I found the answer.

  12. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Silly Rabbit.....

    you cook, you clean, you defend, you mend, you sew, you buy, you fix, you care, you love, you educate, you teach, you govern, you speak, you drive, you repair, you get, you find, you look, you search, you champion, you do, you don't, you are, you won't....

    What part of THAT is real Mother, and what part isn't.

    Congratulations Mom :warrior:

    real Star
  13. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    Thanks Star! If I crushed for girls, would you be my Valentine? :smile: :kisses:
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911

    ASO -

    If I wasnt already adopted - I'd ask YOU to be my Mother! :flower:
  15. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    Okay Star, I'll have to settle for cooking ya dinner if you're ever in my neck of the woods.
  16. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Congrats on your kiddos taking the news so well! That is absolutely wonderful! Absolutely wonderful! :bravo:
  17. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Congratulations!! Awesome news!!! :bravo: :princess: :dance: