A discussion on another thread brought a question that is always in my mind. Both of my boys are adopted. difficult child always wants to find out about his BM; we've told him further info will be available when he's of age (his BM will most likely not seek contact). Both adoptions were open - with letter/picture contact the first few years. Both boys have very nice adoption stories and were never in abusive environments. Just women who weren't ready to raise kids that made very intelligent and loving decisions. difficult child has always struggled terribly with being adopted; since he was small and found out, he's always worried why he wasn't kept. easy child asks questions; but is not nearly as concerned (each child is just like their BM from what we can tell in some ways!). My question: Why is it that they rarely care about the boyfriend? Just the mother? Or does this change as they get older?