Adoption video

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TheyAreLegallyAdultsNow, Feb 18, 2011.

  1. [video][/video]

    Have you adopted? Do people keep trying to adopt your already adopted child?
  2. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    This goes beyond just adoption. We all (I am sure) have encountered people who feel they have a lot to teach us on how to be better parents to our kids - people who themselves have a lot of flaws.

    In other aspects of life and functions too - I have been dealing with people who use this technique of argument, where they make sweeping and untrue statements as if they are fact. In this clip, the blonde woman is saying, "I will give those poor adopted children the love that you do not. You do not love those children."

    I have learned that instead of just being polite and trying to say, "The best way you can love my children is to support me as a parent," it is more important to challenge the erroneous statements immediately. "When you say that I do not love my children, on what do you base this observation?"

    Too often an unchallenged false statement can become entrenched and accepted as fact, thereby derailing the whole process. Until you get back to the facts of the matter, all argument from that point will become circular. Or worse, the false view will prevail and the person hammering at you with sweeping false statements will get to do exactly what they want at your expense.

    I met a woman in the supermarket just before Christmas. We got talking about health food and she started to tell me about her wonderful doctor who prescribed bio-identical hormones. Recommended a book by Robyn McGraw. I started to say, "I can't take hormones; I actually have to take medication to block my body's access to hormones, it is part of my breast cancer treatment." This woman was very similar to the blonde woman in this clip - she knew best and of course I should stop taking my Tamoxifen immediately and get myself onto bioidentical hormones fast, it would make me feel so much better and would be good for the cancer too. Now, I knew this was dangerous rubbish but this woman was such a zealot about her favourite medical treatment that she was insisting it was right for absolutely everyone. What I would have liked to say to her - "I am glad you have found something that works for you. Unfortunately, cancer treatment to save my life requires me to avoid even my own body's hormones. Besides, I actually don't feel the problem symptoms of menopause; I am lucky. I need to follow my treatment path. You are free to follow yours."

    But in reality all I could do (to get rid of her) was say, "What was the name of that book again? Thank you so much for your information. Do be sure to talk to your doctor about my case, let her know that there are a lot of cancer patients out there being given Tamoxifen and similar drugs, who really need her bio-identical hormone treatment to compensate for the damage such drugs do."

    The lady left with a smile and obvious satisfaction in her job well done. I hope she does pass my message on to her doctor - that doctor should rip her a new one, the advice she was giving me is potentially lethal. I shudder to think of the possible outcome when this woman talks to other breast cancer patients who do not have my medical knowledge.

    In Australia it is actually illegal to make claims of cancer cure for alternative treatments. it is illegal for a herbalist or naturopath or anyone to tell a cancer patient to stop conventional treatment in favour of alternative treatment. Illegal. Gee, I wish I could be a fly on the wall when that woman goes back to her doctor!

  3. Excellent point to challenge assumptions & demand examples Marguerite !
    by the way... Love the way you had your hormone "expert" bring her excellent advice to her doctor! LOL!
  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I had this happen to me when the tweedles were much younger & cuter. A neighbor insisted I didn't know what I was doing because the tweedles just were not "happy" here. kt & wm told her such horror stories. Neighbor would come to my door to "help" me parent kt & wm. I finally encouraged her to report me to the authorities if she thought I was such a bad mother.

    Never heard another word on that topic again.
  5. Nomad

    Nomad Guest