Skylark Matrix

New Member
Does anyone out there know any high functioning high level autism adults? Just curious. How do these people get along in life when they are no longer children, over 25, or even older? Do any of you personally know someone like this? What happens when ADHD people get really old? My husband's half brother has high level adhd and is currently about 45. We aren't close as they weren't raised together, and he lives far away (something I've always been thankful for !!) He still can't organize life - his mother purchased him a house in order for his 5 assorted children to have a "home", but that isn't working either - poor mother. . . . Do these people live to be 90, and then what happens?
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Best friend's son is 29 with Aspergers. Still struggling, on Disability, married and she is feeling like she has to do a lot of the organizing. He's brilliant, but unable to hold a job. He is too literal, can't multi-task, tends to moralize to the boss about unfairnesses he sees in the workplace. His IQ is 160. I think most Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids always need help. He and wife lived with parents for a while, now he's got a place of his own in Low Income Housing. parent feel he'd have to have assisted living if not for wife, or if wife leaves him. He MET his wife on the internet. She lived abroad. He blew a Disability check and left his life behind him to meet her (parents were seething). They married there--he doesn't have a lot of common sense, but is bright enough to have learned fluent Spanish. In all, his life is all right, but he constantly talks about how he's a screw up. He won't accept his diagnosis or get help and spends a lot of time playing videogames. He is very obsessed with the Bible, and is a good person. I'd be proud to have him as my son. I just wouldn't judge him by social norms as he is very different--actually has a better heart than most "typical" people with very little interest in monetary things. I've known him since he was three years old and misdiagnosed with ADHD. He also had a wrong bipolar and epilepsy diagnosis. But kids now are dxd. better and get more interventions. Maybe that will make a difference. I hope so.
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
I think it depends on the person, as well as their level of funcitoning.

husband has aspergers, fairly high functioning for the most part. He's 58, spent 14 yrs in the military, does have a tendency to lose a job after about 10 yrs. Up until about 3 or 4 yrs ago he had major issues with managing money/paying bills. Since mother in law stopped recueing about 6 yrs ago, and I've cracked down and stayed on him (watching over his shoulder) I've seen marked improvement. At least we haven't had any utilities shut off in about 5 yrs now. I did all the bill paying for years, but when he kept making checks bounce all over town by sneaking money out of the bank, I made him assume the job.

I honestly don't think husband would've ever managed if it hadn't been for the military. The strict regulated environment did wonders for him. And he really still has trouble outside of it.



Then there is my son Travis. Much more severe with the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), but then you also have to add in the other disabilities.

But I think if it weren't for his other problems, if Travis could learn a routine to daily living he'd be okay for the most part. He'd probably still have some major issues socially, though.

husband still doesn't like the diagnosis. Nor does he like that he and Travis are so much alike. lol I swear, they really are. Just Travis is more pronounced and worse in many ways. Actually it's pretty common on husband's side of the family. I can see traits in his brother, when I think back also in his Dad, His cousin is DEFINATELY aspergers (and he's a History professor!) I know another cousin probably is too.

We are still working toward Travis living independently. If he's unable to, the family is already planning for his future. At the moment easy child has already decided the next house she buys WILL have a room for her brother.
 

Marcie Mac

Just Plain Ole Tired
When ADHD people get old, they just, well, get old :smile:

I have enough coping skills I have developed to function quite well unmedicated - and what I lack, my family acts as my personal reminders

As to your questions as to whether or not THOSE people live into their 90's, will get back to you in about 33 years

Marcie
 

trinityroyal

Well-Known Member
It does depend on the person and the type of support they have.
I function pretty well overall. I have lots of processes and routines that help me keep a rigid structure going, otherwise I get very confused.

My SO says that sometimes my mental screen saver goes on and I just stand there blinking at him. Usually when I'm getting way too much input and my head shuts off, but that otherwise I'm pretty "normal", although a bit eccentric.

My difficult child on the other hand, will likely never be able to live independently. His executive dysfunction, impulse control, etc. are to the point where he can't manage on his own. We are hoping to get him into an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) before the end of the month, and are looking at assisted living options for the long-term.

Then there's my brother in law. He's about as ADHD as you can get. He's 53, he's a professor at a university, writes books, makes documentaries that are shown on TV, etc. He's asked to do speaking tours all over the world about his subject area. However, he can't remember to pick up a carton of milk on his way home from work.

There's a pretty broad range.

Hope this helps.
Trinity
 

sameold sameold

New Member
Hi
My almost 21 year old has AS, along with some major mental illnesses. I think if he didn't have the mental illness along with it, he would be doing quite well. He is so severely depressed that we have not been able to make alot of progress. Now that he is in an assisted living group home he is now "considering" getting a job. I still have my hope, I also agree with the others that it is determined by how severe their autism is.
 

Fran

Former desparate mom
I think,that our kids mature more slowly than average. I see progress since difficult child turned 21. I expect his delay will continue but he will not stop developing at the average age. I don't think my difficult child will be done cooking until late 20's early 30's.
My difficult child will probably need to share his life with someone who has strengths where he has weaknesses and vice versa. Aren't the best of marriages based on that sort of relationship? Aren't the best of friendships the one's that bring something unique to the relationship.
Hopefully we guide them, nudge them, cajole them to the highest level of functioning. It's going to be different for each one of them.
 
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