Adult child not wanting to take care of her newborn

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by AmandaS, May 24, 2018.

  1. AmandaS

    AmandaS New Member

    First time on this forum so please be patient with me...
    I have a 20 yo daughter who has a 2.5 month old baby. Unfortunately, she only sees the baby for a few hours a week (sometimes she doesn't see the baby for a week at a time.) The majority of the week she drops the child off at various grandparents. While my daughter does have a job and it is nice to have free daycare and the peace of mind that the child is being well taken care of she does not spend time with her baby during "off" hours. As her mother, I have set boundaries about when and how much I will watch the baby, however, the other grandparents have not and are constantly agreeing to take care of the child.
    I have tried to talk to her about the importance of forming a relationship and spending time with her child but it has seemed to fall on deff ears. In addition to, I believe that since Ive created boundaries where others have not I have pushed my daughter away, as I only get to see the baby every few weeks in comparison to the other grandparents seeing the baby 3-4 times a week.
    Is this behavior normal for young parents? What other advice can I give her? Is there anything I can do to help the relationship without caving in and breaking my boundary barriers? Any other thoughts?
     
  2. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    First why is she not on maternity leave? second she uses formula?
    Also its strange but I will say this sometimes there can be no maternal love but love can come from others as long as its other caretakers do the bonding its going to be fine it does not need to be the mother only.
     
  3. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    Is there a S.O. in the picture? What is she doing when not at work or with the baby? If she is out partying i would find that innapropriate. Unfortunately i believe there are more than a few moms that give grandmothers more time than they should. I am guilty of allowing this especially with my grandaughter. I see nothing wrong with setting some boundaries. the other grandparents will probably reach a point where they will as well. Is there a possibility of post partum depression?
     
  4. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    Post pardon depression? Sleep deprivation?