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Adult child's expectations
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 623180" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there. I just answered "Losing Hope in CA" about money and you are welcome tor ead it and I'd say the same thing to you only...your son is a middle aged man now. You shouldn't support him at all. My 36 year old has anxiety, mood swings, and anger issues and he is way too old to expect me to support him in spite of that. He does have a job. We have tremendous issues together, however, I refuse to support my grown children. Your son should have no say in your relationship at all or if you live in your own house or not. Is he even paying rent? Does he work? Something doesn't add up here. He is like a child who is still expecting you to come to his rescue and support him. Why does he call ANY of the shots in your life? He doesn't even sound like he's very grateful. Most of our adult kids are actually grown up brats, like my 36 year old, and were overly pampered and spoiled, like my 36 year old is. He isn't a very nice man and your son doesn't sound nice either, by your description of how he treats you.</p><p></p><p>Are drugs involved? Even if not, do you feel it is healthy to take care of him like this? You and I will not live forever. Then what? My own 36 year is is too emotionally dependent on me...I'd worry even more if he were financially dependent on me.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting mommy heart, and hope you read the answer to the post I directed you to. Others will come along and may have a different take on things, however we are not much on enabling our adult children as a group. YOU have to take care of a very important person you seem to have forgotten about...YOURSELF! Your son is at an age where he needs to learn to take care of himself and it's time for you to finally enjoy your life, free of obligation to ANY children, grown or otherwise. I'm glad for your new relationship <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Hope you can take back your power!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 623180, member: 1550"] Hi there. I just answered "Losing Hope in CA" about money and you are welcome tor ead it and I'd say the same thing to you only...your son is a middle aged man now. You shouldn't support him at all. My 36 year old has anxiety, mood swings, and anger issues and he is way too old to expect me to support him in spite of that. He does have a job. We have tremendous issues together, however, I refuse to support my grown children. Your son should have no say in your relationship at all or if you live in your own house or not. Is he even paying rent? Does he work? Something doesn't add up here. He is like a child who is still expecting you to come to his rescue and support him. Why does he call ANY of the shots in your life? He doesn't even sound like he's very grateful. Most of our adult kids are actually grown up brats, like my 36 year old, and were overly pampered and spoiled, like my 36 year old is. He isn't a very nice man and your son doesn't sound nice either, by your description of how he treats you. Are drugs involved? Even if not, do you feel it is healthy to take care of him like this? You and I will not live forever. Then what? My own 36 year is is too emotionally dependent on me...I'd worry even more if he were financially dependent on me. Hugs for your hurting mommy heart, and hope you read the answer to the post I directed you to. Others will come along and may have a different take on things, however we are not much on enabling our adult children as a group. YOU have to take care of a very important person you seem to have forgotten about...YOURSELF! Your son is at an age where he needs to learn to take care of himself and it's time for you to finally enjoy your life, free of obligation to ANY children, grown or otherwise. I'm glad for your new relationship :) Hope you can take back your power!!!! [/QUOTE]
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