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Adult daughter hiding our relationship from husband and dad
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 666350" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I do not have a situation like yours but my mother did. With both of her daughters.</p><p></p><p>She was like you. The pain was unbearable, especially, when my sister denied access to her daughters.</p><p></p><p>My mother eventually came to a compromise. She pulled back and did not let herself be so vulnerable to my sister. She adopted a neutral attitude, and was grateful for the opportunity to be with them. And accepted the limits. She became very careful to not cross boundaries that my sister had made. It was hard, but my mother became humble. </p><p></p><p>There is a time when our children become responsible to solve their own problems. Or not. They may view as intrusive the parental role of responsibility, that we view as our duty. </p><p></p><p>My son is that way. I have learned to keep quiet. It is hard and stressful, but I am doing it because I do not want to get in the way of his solving his own problems. I realized, finally, that I cannot do it for him. It just does not work.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the board. I am glad you are here. Keep posting. It helps.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 666350, member: 18958"] I do not have a situation like yours but my mother did. With both of her daughters. She was like you. The pain was unbearable, especially, when my sister denied access to her daughters. My mother eventually came to a compromise. She pulled back and did not let herself be so vulnerable to my sister. She adopted a neutral attitude, and was grateful for the opportunity to be with them. And accepted the limits. She became very careful to not cross boundaries that my sister had made. It was hard, but my mother became humble. There is a time when our children become responsible to solve their own problems. Or not. They may view as intrusive the parental role of responsibility, that we view as our duty. My son is that way. I have learned to keep quiet. It is hard and stressful, but I am doing it because I do not want to get in the way of his solving his own problems. I realized, finally, that I cannot do it for him. It just does not work. Welcome to the board. I am glad you are here. Keep posting. It helps. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Adult daughter hiding our relationship from husband and dad
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