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Adult daughter stole entire life savings-Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="tishthedish" data-source="post: 630016" data-attributes="member: 17103"><p>I have found your story and all subsequent posts so compelling. The breadth of the deceit involved should act as a cautionary tale to any of us that have been stolen from. Aside from the forgiveness aspect there are practical issues that arise. My husband and I have discussed them and intend to act on them in the next month. My 2 difficult child's have mental issues and both have had addiction problems. Booze, drugs, gambling...they have been better, been reformed, been worse. The scenario changes much as the seasons do. We are not wealthy by any stretch, but have been careful throughout our lives so to be able to take care of ourselves in our dotage. We have wills and have, after be both have passed, left our estate to our sons 50/50. Yikes! Our will was done when they were well and unencumbered. Would we want our adult sons with all the vices and illness they have acquired to have a lump sum of money in one fell swoop? No. Hell no! Emotionally, as a family, the future looks uncertain. husband and I haven't been successful in helping them in the past. But to give them resources beyond what they have would have been able to earn given their present lifestyles seems unwise. So we are meeting with an estate attorney to set up trusts for our sons and our special needs grandson to mete out small sums of money over time to enable them to survive and perhaps give them a chance to get well. </p><p></p><p>Because of the thefts we have explained to our younger son, (our elder is in no shape to hear this right now) that we are doing this and that the executor of the estate will be one of my best friends from grade school. She has difficult children of her own and will not be swayed by my sons' playing the sympathy card as a family member might. We have also said that substance abuse, incarceration, mental illness or our untimely demise is a game changer. There is a small part of me that is afraid of their ruthless behavior and mistreatment of us and our property. Jeanne, your daughter has already perpetrated crimes against you and your family beyond what one can imagine. The elaborateness and deliberateness of her actions are sobering. Please put some safeguards in place for your financial future. We don't have the kind of kids that are going to take us under their roof or probably even give us bus fare to the nursing home. They are takers. Shore up what you have left and let her know her future financial prospects will fall squarely on her shoulders. I hate to think this way. It's maudlin and scary. But sometimes the best way to take care of an adult child is to take care of ourselves first. Good luck and I am so very sorry for your difficulties and your heartache.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tishthedish, post: 630016, member: 17103"] I have found your story and all subsequent posts so compelling. The breadth of the deceit involved should act as a cautionary tale to any of us that have been stolen from. Aside from the forgiveness aspect there are practical issues that arise. My husband and I have discussed them and intend to act on them in the next month. My 2 difficult child's have mental issues and both have had addiction problems. Booze, drugs, gambling...they have been better, been reformed, been worse. The scenario changes much as the seasons do. We are not wealthy by any stretch, but have been careful throughout our lives so to be able to take care of ourselves in our dotage. We have wills and have, after be both have passed, left our estate to our sons 50/50. Yikes! Our will was done when they were well and unencumbered. Would we want our adult sons with all the vices and illness they have acquired to have a lump sum of money in one fell swoop? No. Hell no! Emotionally, as a family, the future looks uncertain. husband and I haven't been successful in helping them in the past. But to give them resources beyond what they have would have been able to earn given their present lifestyles seems unwise. So we are meeting with an estate attorney to set up trusts for our sons and our special needs grandson to mete out small sums of money over time to enable them to survive and perhaps give them a chance to get well. Because of the thefts we have explained to our younger son, (our elder is in no shape to hear this right now) that we are doing this and that the executor of the estate will be one of my best friends from grade school. She has difficult children of her own and will not be swayed by my sons' playing the sympathy card as a family member might. We have also said that substance abuse, incarceration, mental illness or our untimely demise is a game changer. There is a small part of me that is afraid of their ruthless behavior and mistreatment of us and our property. Jeanne, your daughter has already perpetrated crimes against you and your family beyond what one can imagine. The elaborateness and deliberateness of her actions are sobering. Please put some safeguards in place for your financial future. We don't have the kind of kids that are going to take us under their roof or probably even give us bus fare to the nursing home. They are takers. Shore up what you have left and let her know her future financial prospects will fall squarely on her shoulders. I hate to think this way. It's maudlin and scary. But sometimes the best way to take care of an adult child is to take care of ourselves first. Good luck and I am so very sorry for your difficulties and your heartache. [/QUOTE]
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