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Adult daughter stole entire life savings
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 627357" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I am sorry Jeanne, your story is really sad. I can't imagine how difficult this has been for you to discover the truth of who your daughter is while you go about trying to claim your identity back, grieving the remarkable financial losses and also the death of your mother. My heart goes out to you. </p><p></p><p>I have a 41 year old daughter who fits much of the profile of a narcissistic personality and I know from my dealings with her, how strange a landscape it is to have any encounters with her. Fortunately she hasn't stolen from me, however, it has been the most difficult thing I've ever done to detach from her and accept her and the situation for what it truly is. Seeing that truth was devastating, and yet, it also was liberating since I was no longer involved in an illusion, I was back in reality. Seeing the truth of who our kids turns out to be is a very, very hard thing for us parents to do. Most of us slowly have to pull the blinders off, but for you, they were ripped off suddenly and with brutality. </p><p></p><p>It sounds as if you're not through the woods yet, since no arrest has happened and your daughter's life with her family hasn't blown apart......yet. It would seem that the police should be able to take some kind of action, do they see something moving ahead in the near future? It must be so hard on you to have to wait. Can any of your money be recovered? Because it was an identity theft, do the credit or mortgage companies offer you any relief?</p><p></p><p>I hope that you and your husband are seeking or receiving support on as many levels as you can because this is almost impossible to do on our own, we are simply not equipped in most ways to cope well with this. The anger, resentment, sorrow, disappointment and all the other emotions can be absolutely overwhelming. And in your case, you add the financial stress and the identity theft and you are in a high stress arena.......</p><p></p><p>For me I had to put a grand focus on myself and my health. I am the same age as you and I live in CA. as well, Northern CA. and believe me, I availed myself to all of the healing/holistic/stress reducing opportunities I could get my hands on. I cleaned up my diet and upped my exercise. I continued with my acupuncture which by the way, is a terrific means of lowering stress. Yoga, meditation, walking, reflexology, massage, therapy, therapist lead support groups.............I did it all because I wanted to stay healthy and as stress free as I had the power to claim. It becomes absolutely necessary for us to focus on ourselves and what we need and want. That will help you get through this without ruining your health. This is an extraordinary amount of stress you are under, so please, make sure you are taking excellent care of yourself.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That is a statement many of us can probably make too. Some of our kids turned out to be people we can't spend more then 10 minutes a week with, or not at all. </p><p></p><p>Keep posting as it feels right Jeanne, the writing of our stories helps us in many ways and knowing our words are going out to others who've been in similar shoes and can be 'committed listeners,' who can empathize and understand is very healing. Sending you peaceful thoughts............take very good care of yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 627357, member: 13542"] I am sorry Jeanne, your story is really sad. I can't imagine how difficult this has been for you to discover the truth of who your daughter is while you go about trying to claim your identity back, grieving the remarkable financial losses and also the death of your mother. My heart goes out to you. I have a 41 year old daughter who fits much of the profile of a narcissistic personality and I know from my dealings with her, how strange a landscape it is to have any encounters with her. Fortunately she hasn't stolen from me, however, it has been the most difficult thing I've ever done to detach from her and accept her and the situation for what it truly is. Seeing that truth was devastating, and yet, it also was liberating since I was no longer involved in an illusion, I was back in reality. Seeing the truth of who our kids turns out to be is a very, very hard thing for us parents to do. Most of us slowly have to pull the blinders off, but for you, they were ripped off suddenly and with brutality. It sounds as if you're not through the woods yet, since no arrest has happened and your daughter's life with her family hasn't blown apart......yet. It would seem that the police should be able to take some kind of action, do they see something moving ahead in the near future? It must be so hard on you to have to wait. Can any of your money be recovered? Because it was an identity theft, do the credit or mortgage companies offer you any relief? I hope that you and your husband are seeking or receiving support on as many levels as you can because this is almost impossible to do on our own, we are simply not equipped in most ways to cope well with this. The anger, resentment, sorrow, disappointment and all the other emotions can be absolutely overwhelming. And in your case, you add the financial stress and the identity theft and you are in a high stress arena....... For me I had to put a grand focus on myself and my health. I am the same age as you and I live in CA. as well, Northern CA. and believe me, I availed myself to all of the healing/holistic/stress reducing opportunities I could get my hands on. I cleaned up my diet and upped my exercise. I continued with my acupuncture which by the way, is a terrific means of lowering stress. Yoga, meditation, walking, reflexology, massage, therapy, therapist lead support groups.............I did it all because I wanted to stay healthy and as stress free as I had the power to claim. It becomes absolutely necessary for us to focus on ourselves and what we need and want. That will help you get through this without ruining your health. This is an extraordinary amount of stress you are under, so please, make sure you are taking excellent care of yourself. That is a statement many of us can probably make too. Some of our kids turned out to be people we can't spend more then 10 minutes a week with, or not at all. Keep posting as it feels right Jeanne, the writing of our stories helps us in many ways and knowing our words are going out to others who've been in similar shoes and can be 'committed listeners,' who can empathize and understand is very healing. Sending you peaceful thoughts............take very good care of yourself. [/QUOTE]
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