"Adult" difficult children responsible for their scrips/appts

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by CrazyinVA, Jul 30, 2008.

  1. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I hate to say “I told you so.” But I kept telling Youngest, if she continued to miss doctors appointments, either by cancelling and not rescheduling, or just not showing up, eventually they would drop her as a patient.

    So she calls me just now, upset because she called her therapist at the County Mental Health dept. to set up appointments, and was informed that because she hasn’t used their services in several months, her case has been closed. They assume she’s doing really well and doesn’t need them any more. Refills? She should call her neurologist, since Lamictal is a medication he can prescribe, anyway. No, the psychiatrist won’t give her any more. She needs to find another psychiatrist.

    She has 3 Lamictal left (mood stabilizer for her). She has 1 Topomax left (anti-seizure medication for her). She is going to call the neurologist.. BUT.. she has also missed her last two appointments with him, plus cancelled a CT scan he jumped through hoops with the insurance company to get. I’m not so sure he hasn’t dropped her, either. Certainly no new doctor is going to prescribe right off the bat.

    Good grief. When will she learn?! It’s easy to get angry at the County.. but I do really understand their position. They are short on funding. Why keep a spot open for someone that never shows up? I DO think they should at least give her one more refill, but they are refusing. Maybe it’s a liability issue, I don’t know. She says they told her that since she hasn’t called for a refill sooner, they figured she isn’t taking her medicine anyway (this may, in fact, be partly true.. she’s been known to skip doses now and then, dangerous as that may be). I suppose worse case she can call back the county and beg. I suspect though if her case file is closed, she may have to go through intake all over again.

    I called my psychiatrist, who also happens to be her former psychiatrist. I’ve left her a message. I know she’s not currently taking new patients (per her practice), but she may be able to take Youngest as a former patient, or part of my family as a current patient. She may also be willing to give her some samples or something for now. We’ll see what kind of progress Youngest makes with the neurologist’s office.

    Crappy thing is, Youngest is soon to age off of my insurance, and it would have been better for her to be with the county, and their sliding scale. This is important enough, though, that I'm willing to cover the cost of her appts if necessary.

    What a freaking mess. Live and learn, I guess. At least, I hope so.
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    We're just starting to deal with this with Miss KT. For the past two months, she's been pretty good about refills and appointments. I'm worried about what will happen once she turns 18; if she isn't a student, she can't be on our insurance.

    Sending hugs. How frustrating for you.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ahhhh the joys of "I am an adult and I want to be responsible for myself now!" Cory is reaping his just rewards of this little tirade too. He would dutifully go to appts if I told him when they were...or if I filled out paperwork for him he was fine and dandy...but all I heard was..."I am a MAN!" Ok buddy...you are grown, take over your affairs. Well he messed himself up royally.

    LOL. He didnt send in paperwork Social Security requested and so they cut off his check for a month. He seemed to think he was above doing what was requested of mere mortals. He learned. I just looked at him and said...well...you wanted to be the adult...your responsibility.
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I just had a similar talk with Dude -

    He's supposed to have his wisdom teeth removed BEFORE he's 18. Okay - Mom will you call? I did. I made an appointment. I called the foster mom, I called him. They both missed it. Since this is a high profile cranio facial surgical dds who wired Dude's jaw and he needs this man to do the work because of his injuries....I figured Dude would go. Nope - he forgets.

    So he has the foster mom call me to reschedule and I told her SHE needed to call them, not me. She put it on Dude - a month later he calls. THey are booked (duh) they take 1 medicaid patient a month. And his month is past. But they get him a consultation. And THEY wasted HIS and the foster Moms time. (rofl) Told them flat out that the ONLY reason they called them in that day was to make them come and sit and waste their time like they did to them. WOW! Then told him to call and reschedule.

    When his teeth hurt? I guess he'll call.

    I'm still trying to help him with the SSI paperwork. But even I'm frustrated with that. So many stupid questions.

    And he had made his OWN mental health appointment (clappity clappity) and blew it off for a voc. rehab appointment. that he said was a waste of his time and he got so angry he said he was going to blow but instead called mental health and RESCHEDULED - because he thinks he MAY need SOMETHING to help him stop being so emotional and angry.

    I nearly fell out of the chaise lounge when he said the words I rescheduled for THIS week.

    So there is hope. (Holds breath)
  5. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well my psychiatrist is an angel.. she has an opening on Tuesday morning and will see Youngest then. She says she'll worry about getting the paperwork later, she's known Youngest long enough. She was not comfortable prescribing her anything before the apt though, since it's been a couple years since she's seen her. She told Youngest to call county mental health back, let them know she had an appointment on Tuesday, and ask for just enough medications to get through until then.

    She also told Youngest that she can NOT miss appts with her practice.. they charge $80 for a missed appointment that is not cancelled 24 hours ahead of time.

    Youngest called the neurologist and they were going to call in the topomax, although I'm not sure that happened yet. She does need an appointment there, too, and I hope she follows up.

    So, I hope this mini-crisis taught her something and maybe, just maybe, she'll pay more attention next time. I will say, I am happy she knows she needs her medications ... that is so huge for her.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I actually started the process of Nichole handling appointments and getting her scripts filled when she was 17. She's been doing so for 2 yrs. Although is currently not seeing a psychiatrist and not on medications. But is stable and we're trying to see if the mood swings are all blood sugar related. Hard to do when she's on medications.

    IF it's like it is here, she'll have to go thru the intake process again. Although they might speed it up for her since she has been a patient not that long ago. They did that for Nichole once when she got her appointments all mixed up. She went for the intake, saw therapist the next week, saw psychiatrist the following week.

    Don't be so sure. If she has her prescription bottle many docs will go ahead and write an emergency script to cover the amount of time for her to get in to see another psychiatrist. been there done that They do it with medications for other specialist too. So it doesn't hurt to try.

    Unfortunately the only way for them to learn, is to do it themselves. I did gentle reminders with Nichole. I'd mention it, then drop it. No lectures or anything. She got really good at it the last year she was on the medications and seeing psychiatrist. She even caught script mess ups. I was impressed.

    Hopefully this will get her attention that getting to appointments and such is a huge deal and it won't become a habit. Having to go thru the intake, and go to fam doctor for emergency scripts, and such scared Nichole out of missing any more appointments.

  7. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Personally, I think I will always be willing to provide some extra help in this arena...and difficult child has done some growth in this area and will be expected to do some more in the coming years. Due to its importance, we want to help...but there are limits.

    Not too long ago, difficult child missed three appointments in a row with her t-doctor and I called the t-doctor and put an end to it. No more private appointments until further notice and difficult child went to a few group sessions at the community center. Sadly, this group was VERY unorganized.

    difficult child had an emergency, I okay'd her going back to her private therapist temporarily. I have noticed that she is doing a much better job at making her appointments and setting up reminders now.

    difficult child has been making almost all her appointments for a long time and takes her own medication. We take care of ordering her medications now. I think, in time...slowly...but surely...we will have her do the ordering...with an occasional glance to make sure it is getting done. Assuming she continues to at least meet us halfway, we would be willing to provide financial assitance to pay for them a little longer and then for emergencies. (Not forever). It is not an open slate by any means...but there is probably a little more leeway with reference to this area since good health care is a major part of the equation when it comes to stability.
    Lasted edited by : Jul 30, 2008

    SONS GONE WILD Moms goin' crazy

    KT Mom,

    I thought my difficult child would be off of our insurance when he turned 18 and wasn't a full time student, but I happened today to come across some paperwork from our insurance co. that said a "dependent" was one under 21 (not 18), no requirement about school unless he is over 21. I know insurances differ, but you might want to double check. I really thought it was 18 and that they would be kicking him off soon. I AM SOOOOOO RELIEVED ABOUT THIS!