Adult "entitlement" this woke me up

[Nomad]

I got a real shock a roo yesterday while shopping at my local food store and I wanted to get some feedback.

I had to work last night (I work pt and go to school pt) and got off around 6:30. I was really hungry and stopped by there. They have a self serve food court. You put the food in little plastic containers and then they weigh the container at the register and you pay accordingly. It's high quality stuff and popular.

I bumped into a woman that was VERY popular at my children's schools. She was a very active volunteer at the schools and in the community. She has three sons...one my son's age and another my daughter's age. So, I knew her fairly well. I was also active in the schools, but to a lessor extent. She lives in a lovely large home and always seemed comfortable.

I was just about to tell her that we had chosen the same vegetable and rice. Then, I saw her take her container and half in Spanish and half in English (I can understand a lot of Spanish) tell the woman behind the counter that she found something "she liked better" and wanted her to put the food back! The woman looked shocked! I could see it in her face. It was just a tiny bit of food...perhaps $2 or $3 worth.

When she saw the woman's reaction...she said "Well, I didn't touch it...I think you can just put it back into the containers in the food court/display.

I could see the women scurring around...not sure what to do. Eventually, they just took it behind into the kitchen.

Then she said to me, "I decided I wanted a salad instead."

My thought was that legally, they can NOT put that food back and she SHOULD know this. It's hard for me to believe that an adult wouldn't just eat their $#@! veggies or perhaps find someone in their home that might want it, rather than waste it.

Is this entitlement? Ironically, this was someone I thought had their act together...this time I saw her as someone with difficult child tendencies! LOL!

 

[Shari]

I'd be appalled.

 

[hearts and roses]

I think there are people running rampant all over the world like this, most of them close acquiantances. It makes me sick. I feel a rant coming on...lol.

I can't decide if it's an attitude of entitlement or their ego getting the better of them or both.

Just look at the way stars and famous athletes and politicians live so lavishly, buying disposable items that most of us would cherish till we died OR wasting money on services that none of us would even dream about or WANT.

Look at people like NY Governor Spitzer's recent expenditures? Talk about ego and entitlement! Actually being able to sleep at night after spending over $4500 for a roll in the hay with a call girl. Ugh, pass the Pepto.

Did you ever hear about what some stars require in their dressing rooms? Platters of only ONE kind of food and beverage of only one brand - and most of it gets tossed out at the end of the show.

It's sad that people are so wasteful and feel so entitled to live so exorbitantly. My sister is the queen of waste. She talks a good talk about being ecologically and socially minded, yet at any given moment, all the lights will be on in her house. I used to care for her pets when she went on vaca and I will never forget the first night I went over - there was a light on in every room! I went around the house turning off lights. She doesn't recycle, yet talks about the Earth as if she has single handedly saved it from bursting into flames. One time I asked her where her recycle bin was, as I was tossing out some bottles, and she said, "We don't have one...blah blah blah...I know, we're SOOOO bad" and laughed. I felt ill. Not so much because she didn't recycle, but because she has so many people thinking that she's this altruistic tree hugging environmentalist/anthropologist. What a bunch of doo doo.

But there are people like that all over. Hypocrits and Fat Cats who think they can do whatever they want whenever and wherever.

Did you glare at that woman? I would have. Hahah -

 

[gcvmom]

Entitlement is a BIG problem is this country right now. Look at all the people who insist on living beyond their means (the credit and mortgage crisis is a perfect example). I heard a commentary on the radio this morning about this subject... whatever happened to Ben Franklin's philosphy of a "penny saved is a penny earned"? We used to be a society of savers and now we are a society of consumers and spenders. Few are willing to make personal sacrifices or do without to ensure their economic success and stability. Many people in my town drive around in very expensive cars, with huge homes, take expensive vacations, wear nothing but designer clothing, blah, blah, blah. Frightening!

Climbing down off the soapbox now...

 

[Nomad]

Yep. The hypocracy thing is really amazing. Sometimes, I think people just don't take the time to "think." Other times, I think they don't care. AND I did wonder if this mom was living beyond her means. Sadly, she spoke about sending one of her kids to Europe to study. Nothing was adding up...it was all interesting/somewhat revealing/eye opening and sad.

Goodness, I'm not sure we should open that can of worms with reference to Spitzer! LOL!

Personally, it was hard for me to watch his wife just standing there next to him at those press conferences. She looked shell shocked. I can't imagine the pain, loss, embarassment, etc. I do hope she gets some really wise counsel (legally, emotionally and spiritually).

 

[hearts and roses]

Goodness, I'm not sure we should open that can of worms with reference to Spitzer! LOL!
Personally, it was hard for me to watch his wife just standing there next to him at those press conferences. She looked shell shocked. I can't imagine the pain, loss, embarassment, etc. I do hope she gets some really wise counsel (legally, emotionally and spiritually).

I read that after he told her, several hours later they sat their daughters down and told them. How sad is that for a daughter to learn that about her dad? It was so upsetting to me. Part of that shame and embarrassment hit home for me in regards to things that have transpired in other ways here at home almost 2 years ago.

I think his wife will probably leave him eventually. I can't imagine having this splashed all over the papers and not leave. Even with intense counseling, those images never go away. It's just sad that anyone feels that's an okay way to behave.

 

[Abbey]

Geez...you want to see waste? Try sitting in ANY buffet in Vegas and watch what people pile on their plate, then throw away to get another plate for something different. It's sickening. Don't they understand the concept of buffet? YOU CAN GO BACK FOR MORE IF YOU NEED IT.

Here's another thing. When you have any kind of function...wedding reception, business meeting, etc., whatever food that was expected to been eaten but was not is thrown out. We're talking huge prime ribs, trays of veggies and fruit...everything. It's against the law to give it to a homeless shelter even though it hasn't even been touched. It's just sitting in the pan ready to be served.

I did an event where they were planning food for about 100 people. Only 21 showed up. (This actually happens all the time.) To see all this food being thrown away made me sick.

The worst was one I did recently where they planned for 1300 people (imagine all the food that entails) and only 500 did. Such a massive waste.

Abbey

 

[Nomad]

Oh Abbey...wow...that is horrible! That really is "food for thought" (sorry about the play on words).

I was surprised (in MORE ways than one) when Oprah did this show on Freegans (sp?) Did anyone see this?

These folks go into garbage dumpsters and look for seemingly good food and eat it. Most, if not all, solely eat this food that they find. It seems that many food stores throw out food that is either perfect or nearly perfect. It was theorized that they don't donate it to charity for fear of a lawsuit.

I had mixed/conflicted thoughts on this. My main thought was that these stores should be ashamed. Perhaps one person could be in charge at the store to donate it to charity prior to its disposal and some system could be set up protecting the store from a lawsuit.

I thought these guys going into the garbage looking for food (they were not poor...one was a physician), might also set up some sort of food pantry when they get food that seems good (preferably wrapped) and/or personally use their time to work in conjunction with stores that are throwing away the bulk of the good food to take it to homeless shelters, etc. prior to it being thrown out.

In some cases the food was wrapped. But one thing that bugged me was a garbage bag filled with what seemed like fresh bagels (not wrapped). They were going to eat them. However, no telling what might have been in this bag prior to the bagels being thrown in there or if something crawled over the bagels and then left and they just didn't know about it. It creeped me out.

What particularly bothered me about the woman in the store was her "attitude." She was not only wasteful, but almost grandiose. Like "watch me get these folks to take this back."

After participating in these threads, I'm going to be more careful with my own personal waste. I see that it is some sort of pervasive problem in our society and there is probably room for improvement all around.

 

[trinityroyal]

Here's another thing. When you have any kind of function...wedding reception, business meeting, etc., whatever food that was expected to been eaten but was not is thrown out. We're talking huge prime ribs, trays of veggies and fruit...everything. It's against the law to give it to a homeless shelter even though it hasn't even been touched. It's just sitting in the pan ready to be served.

There's an organization in my city that collects leftover food from events, and delivers it to soup kitchens and homeless shelters in the neighbourhood. You contact the organization several days ahead of your event, and then they send someone from the organization to pick up the food. They also have arrangements with local restaurants and grocery stores, so that the food is given to hungry people rather than just thrown away. They have regulations about what they will take, but it does cut out a lot of waste.

I don't know if they operate outside of Toronto, or if there are similar organizations elsewhere.

Might be worth looking into. Please feel free to PM me if you want the name or other details.

Trinity

 

[Lothlorien]

I worked in retail for many, unfortunate years. I've had the misfortune of dealing with MANY, MANY individuals who have this misguided sense of entitlement. I find people like this below dirt.

 

[Abbey]

Other than health issues, supposedly they don't want 'non-casino' people hanging around the dumpsters waiting for food. They have a VERY specific way they dispose of it. Even employees are not allowed to take home a perfectly untouched 5 pound prime rib. These things are huge. (Being a non-meat eater, it's the only one I love...let me take it home.)

There have been many issues brought in a legal way here on this, but they all get shot down on image. I find it so sad.

We have an area here called 'Tent City.' There are hundreds of people living in whatever tent they can make near the homeless shelter. It's about a 3 block space. It's a very touchy issue here. The mayor continually steps in to protect their space, albiet it's in the middle of downtown Vegas. I applaud him for that.

I just don't see why someone can't pick up the food at MANY places around the city every day and bring it to the shelter. There are many organizations that would gladly provide this service.

It's a unique city where people (visitors) DO feel they are entitled to anything they want, and the city of Las Vegas provides that. I guess that is why they call it Sin City.

Abbey

 

[Star*]

Character is who we are when we think no one is looking.

-I would venture to say once she left the business will come up with a sign that states if you serve it and put it in a container it will be paid for - no returns.

the smallest of my admirations for others have changed over the years by watching them when they thought no one was looking.

We have a neat store like that here too called Earth Fare - it's all organic! And they do have a sign like above.

 

[witzend]

I think that the sense of entitlement in our country is at a national crisis level. I think that things are waved in front of our faces as a pablum to make us notice less about the "real" things that "real" people are going without. Government sponsored entitlement has been the norm in the past 6 - 7 years.

Why care that my road in the city has never been paved when you live in a gated community in my city? And you get a ten year property tax break that gave you new parks and subsidized daycare because when they tore down all of the trees to build the 500 million dollar homes it was "urban renewal", and we don't have either!

Want to keep the healthcare profits high? Tell people that you're taking healthcare away from the Mexicans and gay couples. That way they won't care when you take services away, and will have nothing to complain about when that tooth is rotting out of their head, or heaven forbid something worse happens, because they were all for keeping the Mexicans out of the doctor's office, so the office had to close. Sure white citizens can get health care, but where? How long will they have to wait because there is no place to go?


Are you an oil billionaire and want to double your money? Get into a war in the Mid-East and let the working poor and foreigners fight the war for you. If that isn't enough, pay quadruple wages to your friend's mercenary war machine. It's a desperate war that we must win - but not at the expense of their own families. Not with a draft. Just keep the stop-gap going until all of our soldiers are maimed or dead.

OK, done with the soapbox.

 

[Abbey]

There's an organization in my city that collects leftover food from events, and delivers it to soup kitchens and homeless shelters in the neighbourhood. You contact the organization several days ahead of your event, and then they send someone from the organization to pick up the food. They also have arrangements with local restaurants and grocery stores, so that the food is given to hungry people rather than just thrown away. They have regulations about what they will take, but it does cut out a lot of waste.

I don't know if they operate outside of Toronto, or if there are similar organizations elsewhere.

Might be worth looking into. Please feel free to PM me if you want the name or other details.

Trinity

Unfortunately, it's law here. If they don't abide, they risk losing their gaming license, and that is HUGE. I'd love to see it happen.

Abbey

 

[Hound dog]

That is the main reason Buffet restaurants are hard for me to eat in. I might enjoy the food, but the waste is often outragious.

My own mother has been guilty of it for years. It was a bone of contention between us. When the kids were small if we were eating at a buffet she preached to them to pile the food on, knowing there was no way they could possibly eat so much, even of their fav things.

Then she'd start in on me because I didn't do the same. I wasn't "getting my money's worth".

Fortunately as adults the kids have taken after me. Even at buffets their servings are normal size, if they want more they go back for it. No real waste.

Always irks me cuz Mom really should know better. She spent alot of her childhood hungry.

Abbey that's a real shame about all that wasted food. (which sounds delicious by the way) You could always freeze it and send it to me.

 

[Star*]

WITZ - IF YOU EVER RUN FOR PRESIDENT - I WANT TO BE ON YOUR CAMPAIGN!!!!!

YOU SO TOTALLY SAID IT LIKE IT IS.........(insert air guitar)

Bless you!

 

[witzend]

Thanks, Star! I figured I might get into trouble for saying it, but I hoped I wouldn't be the only one who saw it that way!

 

[Marguerite]

Witz, I'm with you. I won't say any more for fear of offending the site by getting political. Maybe it's having to live with difficult children that opens our eyes.

One word about the draft, though, quickly - in Australia we had the draft for Vietnam, but not at any other time. I doubt we'll ever have the draft again. And I think, for us, this way is better. The army we have is populated with people who WANT to be there and often who are better suited to the job as a result. Any who aren't well suited are found a job where they can't do too much damage.

About food waste - in Australia and Britain, there are organisations that take leftover food from hotels, catering firms etc and send it to homeless shelter kitchens. They do somehow get around the legal issues (there are ways) and the food is handled as safely as possible. The history of the food is known (unlike dumpster diving) and anything suspect gets composted.

I don't like hypocrisy. People who preach at others about the environment but who don't live it themselves - I get angry. And people who are deliberately defiant, who do exactly what THEY want to with a defiant laugh of "aren't I naughty?" delivered in a way that is impossible to answer without making you look like a bad-tempered crank - well, it turns me into a bad-tempered crank.
My nutty cleaner is one such - he preaches fairly heavily, gets on his soapbox and has on numerous occasions called me a heretic (because what I was taught in my church when I was a child is not where HIS church is at today) and yet he is facing charges of indecent behaviour for ... well, let's just say it is very much at odds with his preaching.

Nomad, I'm wondering if this woman pulled this stunt because she saw you there and wanted to bignote herself in your presence. Also, you had made the same selection and for her, maybe it was like being caught wearing the same dress at a public function. Her speaking in a mixture of Spanish and English - could it have been to show you, "I'm smart, I'm educated, I know how to talk to 'the help' in their own language because I am wealthy enough to afford staff."? And to make the poor cashier take it back - that is plain wrong. And bullying.

Maybe she was popular at the school because she got things done. But sometimes the person who gets things done, accomplishes things through strong-arm tactics. Want some donations for the school raffle? Ask so-and-so, she gets blood out of a stone. And from the school's point of view, if the money and donations are rolling in, they won't necessarily be interested in the fine details.

Some families are paranoid about cleanliness and STANDARDS. My mother was one such, but I have a friend who is almost obsessive about it. If someone double-dips, she throws the food out. If she even THINKS someone double-dipped, out it goes. Any food from the fridge that is out for more than a few minutes and MIGHT have warmed up to above 5 degrees C - out it goes. Anything past "best before" date - out it goes, even if it's something that fairly obviously won't go bad, such as popcorn kernels, biscuits, sweets... it really annoys me. There is a big difference between "best before" and "use by". And even then, it's at least worth opening and checking!
And leftovers from one person - they go out. No saving it for that person later. No "pass it here, I'll eat it."

In our family, we do have health standards. But since husband & I share germs every time we kiss, there's no reason we can't share a plate of food between us. And our modern obsession with germ-free environments is making us all sicker, because our immune systems are not being stimulated.

And a problem I really have in Sydney, with our drought (yes, we still have drought conditions and will have until our water supply is secure) - the neighbour who hoses his garden at midday on non-watering days, and who hoses off his driveway instead of sweeping it. Both these are illegal, but the authorities have to catch you in the act. We have one neighbour who does this regularly and looks you right in the eye, defying you to report him. He's violent, so I'm sure people are just looking the other way.
You can easily recognise the water cheats - they're the ones with lush green lawns.

Anyway, I'd better stop now. This could get extensive!

Marg