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Adult homeless son calling several times a day
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 690347" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome Alaska! I'm glad you found us here.</p><p>Your story is a familiar one. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with fallout from your adult son's choices. </p><p></p><p></p><p>You are not alone, I and many others here have done all we could and then even more, only to find our adult difficult child expects us the parents to continue taking care of everything for them.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Your feelings are valid and I completely understand how you feel. Our feelings, our emotions, our adult difficult children are very good at tuning into these and then they will use them against us. They are counting on us to feel guilty, to give into them. Understanding that this is a tactic they use helps to let it go.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I know how hard this must be for you. Hold onto your resolve to not answer his calls. Your priority now is you and your safety. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes our adult children just do not see that the dynamics of the parent child relationship changes. While they see themselves as adults they still behave like a child wanting mommy or daddy to swoop in and rescue them when their lives become unmanageable. There are times also that we as the parents see them as a child instead of an adult and we lose our footing and try to rescue them.</p><p></p><p>You are being very strong and are setting important boundaries. Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. You have already tried to help your son and he rejected it. It's not worth getting stuck in the loop of "this time will be different if I help him, he'll change" </p><p></p><p>Hang in there Alaska and know that you are not alone.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you......................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 690347, member: 18516"] Welcome Alaska! I'm glad you found us here. Your story is a familiar one. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with fallout from your adult son's choices. You are not alone, I and many others here have done all we could and then even more, only to find our adult difficult child expects us the parents to continue taking care of everything for them. Your feelings are valid and I completely understand how you feel. Our feelings, our emotions, our adult difficult children are very good at tuning into these and then they will use them against us. They are counting on us to feel guilty, to give into them. Understanding that this is a tactic they use helps to let it go. I know how hard this must be for you. Hold onto your resolve to not answer his calls. Your priority now is you and your safety. Sometimes our adult children just do not see that the dynamics of the parent child relationship changes. While they see themselves as adults they still behave like a child wanting mommy or daddy to swoop in and rescue them when their lives become unmanageable. There are times also that we as the parents see them as a child instead of an adult and we lose our footing and try to rescue them. You are being very strong and are setting important boundaries. Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. You have already tried to help your son and he rejected it. It's not worth getting stuck in the loop of "this time will be different if I help him, he'll change" Hang in there Alaska and know that you are not alone. ((HUGS)) to you...................... [/QUOTE]
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Adult homeless son calling several times a day
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