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Adult siblings mooching off of our folks
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 708316" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I agree with this a dad. This is what I am trying with my own son.</p><p></p><p>He wants to be close to us but he does not want to work at a job. Nor does he want to stop using marijuana.</p><p></p><p>But we have kicked him out before. Over a four year period. There were gains: way less hostility and aggression; his basic gentleness and kindness reappeared; greater stability with his moods. But there will losses too: he suffered at the hands of the world; he began a pattern of lying and manipulating; he developed his marijuana habit; he was homeless and saw and experienced things I would never have wanted him to see.</p><p></p><p>We as parents have so few tools at our disposal to effect them. We have to pray and depend on what we have instilled in them, in prior years, to kick in at some point, if it does.</p><p></p><p>My son knows that his great power over us, is our great love.</p><p></p><p>Our logic is the same as yours--that near us we can reinforce the positive. But thus far, there is no way to curb the negative until he is motivated to do it.</p><p></p><p>Any ideas?</p><p></p><p>It is always good to find that you have posted, a dad. I very much value your wise perspective.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 708316, member: 18958"] I agree with this a dad. This is what I am trying with my own son. He wants to be close to us but he does not want to work at a job. Nor does he want to stop using marijuana. But we have kicked him out before. Over a four year period. There were gains: way less hostility and aggression; his basic gentleness and kindness reappeared; greater stability with his moods. But there will losses too: he suffered at the hands of the world; he began a pattern of lying and manipulating; he developed his marijuana habit; he was homeless and saw and experienced things I would never have wanted him to see. We as parents have so few tools at our disposal to effect them. We have to pray and depend on what we have instilled in them, in prior years, to kick in at some point, if it does. My son knows that his great power over us, is our great love. Our logic is the same as yours--that near us we can reinforce the positive. But thus far, there is no way to curb the negative until he is motivated to do it. Any ideas? It is always good to find that you have posted, a dad. I very much value your wise perspective. [/QUOTE]
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Adult siblings mooching off of our folks
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