I have a 22 year old son who has been on a downhill slide since senior year in high school and I'm conflicted about what I could/should be doing about it. The short version goes as follows; he left for private college and was arrested in first two weeks for smoking pot in dorm. We helped him in terms of hiring a lawyer to try and ensure charges could be removed if no further offenses and we moved my son back home. We sent him to community college for the next semester with the understanding that if he was successful and without incident he would be permitted to return to private college the following semester. Failed all classes this semester and started to grow a attitude problem around the house. When I confronted him on grades and attitude he took no responsibility and was aloof. I kicked him out of the house (had one month) since he wasn't living within home rules and expectations. Within 6 months he had failed on a number of fronts in terms of choices he was making and allowing his insurance to lapse, etc.... and had hit, what his mother and I perceived to be a "bottom" when he broke down when we visited him. He pleaded to have another chance to go to school and after much debate we agreed to pick him up, bring him home, and support another semester at community college. All went very well for the first three months. Very appreciative and helpful around the house while working full time and going to school. Once again, as the semester was coming to a close, an attitude started to emerge and his grades were not good to say he least. Excuse was....too hard to be full time student and work full time. Of course, we explained how so may people, including his mother and I, had done it and that he wasn't assuming responsibility. Again, after much debate, we decided to provide another chance. Honestly, the decision was in many ways forward looking so that, as his parents, we would be able to look back with confidence that we had provided support and guidance toward a positive path for him even if he didn't ultimately make the most of it. So in his "final" chance for school, the offer was that he would be free of payments and work and required only on two things...1. be a student and achieve good grades, and 2. be a productive member of the family around the house and abide by all rules of the house. Surprise, he failed all classes, grew his attitude back and was again moving out of our home. In the seven months since he's left, communication has been infrequent and he has resisted coordinating with us for either us to visit him or for him to visit us at home. Last week, we found out through 3rd party that he had a trip to the ER with an overdose, had potential charges against him for having sex with a 17 year old, and that he is routinely using Molly, Ecstasy, pot, etc... a complete mess and disheartening news to say the least. Then, yesterday, we found out that he was arrested for assaulting a police officer on the night he was brought to the ER. That is a felony offense and one that will have lifelong repercussions even if he cleaned up his act starting now. After receiving a text from him last night asking for help, we resisted the urge to provide bail or legal assistance and simply offered assistance on paying for rehab and our overall support and love. I don't know what or if there is anything I can do to help him change direction and it's absolutely heartbreaking. Any words of wisdom or advice are appreciated.