Hi, I just found this forum. I'm struggling again with boundaries. Son, 25 years old is in jail for about the 8th time. I am not sure how many times now. I know he has spent small stints that I am not sure of...but there have been 2 times up to a year in county jail. This time is somewhat different to me, because he has a baby on the way. While he is in jail, his girlfriend, who also has many issues is non-stop calling and begging for money for phone calls, baby stuff, etc. I've set my boundaries to NOT help any more financially, and have always just been "a phone call away" for any other type of support, emotional support. However, he has not been allowed to stay at my house unless he's on his medication, which he almost always refuses to take. He has Bi-Polar, Paranoid Schizophrenia, and is a drug user, of any drug he can get his hands on....drug of choice Adderol and Meth. But, his latest arrest involved him being on Klonopin. He's on felonly probation for stealing two motorcycles, his last stint, while he was "celebrating" his big milestone birthday 21, with his best friend, who is also a "thug". I will say, he got 4 years of probation and he did manage to pay over $20,000 of his restitution and was almost out of the woods...he did this after I completely cut him off financially, by starting his own blue collar business. I'm so frustrated bc for two years he managed to almost completely pull himself out of his own mess and NOW THIS!!! AND he has a baby on the way...due very soon. He has severe mental problems, and he simply has refused treatment over and over again. Since he was a child there have been various diagnoses. Since he was 22, it's been a solid, BiPolar (BP), paranoid schizophrenia, and psychomotor agitation (which I had never hear of) until he was diagnosed. He's always refused medications and treatment even though I've spent countless days and $$ on all of it....sadly, I feel somewhat responsible, bc it runs in my family, my mother's side. On the schizophrenia, when he's doing drugs, it becomes delusional, with audio and visual hallucinations to the point of thnking I have a camera in my hair, and pulling at my hair to find it...also taking apart everything in the house with any type of electonics or electricity looking for cameras. That's why he's no longer allowed at house unless he's sober and on medications. He's been in private pay treatment, out patient county treatment, hospital, intensive, and he refuses it all. I just feel like I can't even support him emotionally anymore. I've felt awful and while I haven't given him one red cent while he's been out of jail from that last stint, this time I have spend $300 in phone calls and commissary. With his girlfriend pregnant, with my grandchild, it seems different this time....I want so badly to be there for him to be able to see my new grandbaby when she's born, but I cannot keep doing this. I fear so much that I will not have a relationship with my grand daughter bc I am just so ready to completely walk away. Even with a baby coming, I think I need to walk far away. His girlfriend is just as bad. She goes to jail too for hitting people, including my son. I have no idea what to do. Trying to get custody of the baby isn't an option. I have no money left as he's cleaned that out years ago, and my job is all but obsolete now. I just need a "soft place to land" and this seemed like a good place to try for some guidance.