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Adult son back in jail for the nth time
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<blockquote data-quote="detachingmother" data-source="post: 679636" data-attributes="member: 20063"><p>Sister's Keeper and Somewhere out there, Thank YOU both for your replies. I sincerely thank you both. It's so good to hear some inside views. I've done therapy myself for trying to get help with this, but it helps not so much.</p><p></p><p>Yes, Sister's Keeper, Yes I do have somewhat of a talking relationship with GFs parents. They know exactly how I feel and how Son is. I went to school with GFs dad, and he also knows Sons father, who isn't in the picture and in fact has been, shall we say, a real problem when trying to get son help. Anyway...they care about son too and his welfare, but he's been so out of it, the father got a stalking PPO against son simply bc he was afraid of son too. Son's threatened her father after father called son a POS. It's a mess that way, but even before girlfriend became pregnant I told them what was going on with son. I wanted badly to stop those two from hurting each other. I was scared those two were becoming so co-dependent that someone was going to get hurt. Not because Son has ever physically hurt a woman, but sometimes he's so out of it, it's hard to tell what he will do. I felt an obligation to let them know what was going on and who their daughter was getting involved with...it didn't take long for them to realize it themselves.</p><p></p><p>Currently, the parents take her to see him at jail, once a week for a half hour--that's the only visiting he is allowed. I would go visit, but he only gets the one half hour and she should have it. They think as long as you pray and worship God that all will be ok. Very religious, which I am too, however, prayers haven't worked for this. I think they act like it is just something I did wrong as a parent with him. They can't know what they don't know, but I've worked with him and lived it for longer than the decade it's been hard core nasty. I appreciate their caring though, it's just that I don't think they get most of it, like me now being broke bc the decade long trying to get him help and trying to keep him in his own home has taken every last financial resource I've had ...they don't get it all, but at least they try. girlfriend has her own "intervention" in place with him....basically, no medications and treatment, no visits with the baby and no relationship with her....sounds great, only it has been tried and failed already many times over.</p><p></p><p>YES, I do believe he was in crisis delusion mode. He called me while the cops were with him. He said, "MOM, hey mom, I'm on my Risperdal and the cops think I was drunk driving will you please talk to them and tell them I take Risperdal."</p><p></p><p>Ummmm no nothing like that was going on, there was a break in into a car, and a gas can was stolen I am still unclear of from where but I think their garage, and he was apparently trying to steal gas. I believe that, bc when I took his tax money to go get his truck out of impoundment, it was dead on empty--I had to get a gas can to get it to start. There's more to this story though as the people who's driveway he was in blocked him in their driveway and smashed his truck up and held him at gunpoint with shot guns til the cops even got there. So much more but can't write a book....this is so long already. One of the guys holding him there, broke out his windshield too, and then they ran their "beater" truck into both sides of son's work truck., which is a beater too, but still good enough of a work truck. So needless to say, when son does get back on his feet, he will need to replace his truck. Not that I blame the people it's just over kill.</p><p></p><p>He seriously thought he was going to jail for driving drunk, when his car was on 'e' and he was committing a b and e, and theft under $200. </p><p></p><p>Yes, he self medicates, all the time. The mental health issues came long before the drugs. But the drugs have made it worse i think, but schizophrenia usually gets worse around young adult hood, so who knows. My mother's was severe!! She saw gorilla's and mean animals all the time all around her. She screamed all the time. Eventually she self medicated too. WHen she went through this, the hospitals were still around. She was in a very well known hospital in our state. She's been in remission for 30 years. But when it was bad, she tried to kill herself by layign down in the middle of a busy road among many other ways. Today, you'd never know she went through that...</p><p></p><p>Somewhere Out There!!! YES!!!!! I saw that too and I agree. The lock up show.. Most people in jail are mentally ill, and in my state, there are more people incarcerated than any other state PER CAPITA in the country, AND our country has the MOST incarcerated persons in the world True. </p><p></p><p>Our state does, or at least used to, have grand parent rights. But, I just don't think I can keep this up. The 18th I hope and pray something gives.</p><p></p><p>Yes, I talk to his PD, she is luckily very nice and seems willing to help. I hope I am right about her. Doesn't mean she really will though..last attorney, 7 months ago, cost $2000 for a retainer for him to do absolutely NOTTA--this time son was paranoid and called up the local city police to tell them to stop harrassing him, when in fact SON was harrassing them...ARGHHH. Yes, he did that and he got a harrassment of the police charge bc he was calling them and harrassing them. Charges were dropped but cost a pretty penny. I begged that attorney to plead with the judge on court ordering treatment, but as I mentioned above, this state is so overflowing with inmates and problems in the mental health system it's unreal.</p><p></p><p>One thing I did right was moved him one county over, for treatment and hospitalization, because that makes a HUGE difference too. The county he happens to be in now I feel will be better than the one he was in last time. AND, it just so happens he landed in jail in THAT county that is a little better. </p><p></p><p>Yes, the system is jacked up. With my Sons delusions, Depakote has helped. He flat out refuses Risperdal, since he's watched the commercials about male breast cancer, and Seroquel helps. Yes, some people totally need medications and finding the right combo is hell. But, depakote helps him "live with it". Problem is when he quits taking it bc he "feels better". As soon as he does, it's a nightmare. I always know bc he's back in jail.</p><p></p><p>Thanks so much all!! It's been so crazy. Everyone who has helped me here, sincere thanks !!! I feel so much better having been heard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="detachingmother, post: 679636, member: 20063"] Sister's Keeper and Somewhere out there, Thank YOU both for your replies. I sincerely thank you both. It's so good to hear some inside views. I've done therapy myself for trying to get help with this, but it helps not so much. Yes, Sister's Keeper, Yes I do have somewhat of a talking relationship with GFs parents. They know exactly how I feel and how Son is. I went to school with GFs dad, and he also knows Sons father, who isn't in the picture and in fact has been, shall we say, a real problem when trying to get son help. Anyway...they care about son too and his welfare, but he's been so out of it, the father got a stalking PPO against son simply bc he was afraid of son too. Son's threatened her father after father called son a POS. It's a mess that way, but even before girlfriend became pregnant I told them what was going on with son. I wanted badly to stop those two from hurting each other. I was scared those two were becoming so co-dependent that someone was going to get hurt. Not because Son has ever physically hurt a woman, but sometimes he's so out of it, it's hard to tell what he will do. I felt an obligation to let them know what was going on and who their daughter was getting involved with...it didn't take long for them to realize it themselves. Currently, the parents take her to see him at jail, once a week for a half hour--that's the only visiting he is allowed. I would go visit, but he only gets the one half hour and she should have it. They think as long as you pray and worship God that all will be ok. Very religious, which I am too, however, prayers haven't worked for this. I think they act like it is just something I did wrong as a parent with him. They can't know what they don't know, but I've worked with him and lived it for longer than the decade it's been hard core nasty. I appreciate their caring though, it's just that I don't think they get most of it, like me now being broke bc the decade long trying to get him help and trying to keep him in his own home has taken every last financial resource I've had ...they don't get it all, but at least they try. girlfriend has her own "intervention" in place with him....basically, no medications and treatment, no visits with the baby and no relationship with her....sounds great, only it has been tried and failed already many times over. YES, I do believe he was in crisis delusion mode. He called me while the cops were with him. He said, "MOM, hey mom, I'm on my Risperdal and the cops think I was drunk driving will you please talk to them and tell them I take Risperdal." Ummmm no nothing like that was going on, there was a break in into a car, and a gas can was stolen I am still unclear of from where but I think their garage, and he was apparently trying to steal gas. I believe that, bc when I took his tax money to go get his truck out of impoundment, it was dead on empty--I had to get a gas can to get it to start. There's more to this story though as the people who's driveway he was in blocked him in their driveway and smashed his truck up and held him at gunpoint with shot guns til the cops even got there. So much more but can't write a book....this is so long already. One of the guys holding him there, broke out his windshield too, and then they ran their "beater" truck into both sides of son's work truck., which is a beater too, but still good enough of a work truck. So needless to say, when son does get back on his feet, he will need to replace his truck. Not that I blame the people it's just over kill. He seriously thought he was going to jail for driving drunk, when his car was on 'e' and he was committing a b and e, and theft under $200. Yes, he self medicates, all the time. The mental health issues came long before the drugs. But the drugs have made it worse i think, but schizophrenia usually gets worse around young adult hood, so who knows. My mother's was severe!! She saw gorilla's and mean animals all the time all around her. She screamed all the time. Eventually she self medicated too. WHen she went through this, the hospitals were still around. She was in a very well known hospital in our state. She's been in remission for 30 years. But when it was bad, she tried to kill herself by layign down in the middle of a busy road among many other ways. Today, you'd never know she went through that... Somewhere Out There!!! YES!!!!! I saw that too and I agree. The lock up show.. Most people in jail are mentally ill, and in my state, there are more people incarcerated than any other state PER CAPITA in the country, AND our country has the MOST incarcerated persons in the world True. Our state does, or at least used to, have grand parent rights. But, I just don't think I can keep this up. The 18th I hope and pray something gives. Yes, I talk to his PD, she is luckily very nice and seems willing to help. I hope I am right about her. Doesn't mean she really will though..last attorney, 7 months ago, cost $2000 for a retainer for him to do absolutely NOTTA--this time son was paranoid and called up the local city police to tell them to stop harrassing him, when in fact SON was harrassing them...ARGHHH. Yes, he did that and he got a harrassment of the police charge bc he was calling them and harrassing them. Charges were dropped but cost a pretty penny. I begged that attorney to plead with the judge on court ordering treatment, but as I mentioned above, this state is so overflowing with inmates and problems in the mental health system it's unreal. One thing I did right was moved him one county over, for treatment and hospitalization, because that makes a HUGE difference too. The county he happens to be in now I feel will be better than the one he was in last time. AND, it just so happens he landed in jail in THAT county that is a little better. Yes, the system is jacked up. With my Sons delusions, Depakote has helped. He flat out refuses Risperdal, since he's watched the commercials about male breast cancer, and Seroquel helps. Yes, some people totally need medications and finding the right combo is hell. But, depakote helps him "live with it". Problem is when he quits taking it bc he "feels better". As soon as he does, it's a nightmare. I always know bc he's back in jail. Thanks so much all!! It's been so crazy. Everyone who has helped me here, sincere thanks !!! I feel so much better having been heard. [/QUOTE]
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Adult son back in jail for the nth time
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