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Parent Emeritus
Adult son mom's guilt needs support
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 708492" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Sorry for your pain. We all get it here. It's the hardest thing most of us have ever had to do in our lives.</p><p></p><p>I just had a close friend text me last night that she had to kick her 25 year old son and his girlfriend out last week. I had been telling her to do this for over a year but she wasn't ready I guess. She found needles. Burn holes in everything. Had to throw his mattress out. Rotting food all over. 30 bags of garbage in his room. Hard to imagine. She enabled him for very long and his drug use escalated during that time while she pretended everything was "okay". She gave him too much privacy I'd say. She is devastated and scared for his life but she took the right first step and so have you.</p><p></p><p>Others will be along to give you their advice and what has worked for them. Everyone's journey is different. We cannot let our adult children hold us hostage in our own home. We forced our son to go to rehab or to a shelter and he chose rehab but ONLY because he didn't want to be homeless. My therapist said that each time they go (he's gone to plenty) they do have some take aways. They KNOW they need it but they don't want to accept it so usually just blame us as parents.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong and keep reading and posting. This forum and these people gave me the strength I needed to make a change and to continue reinforcing my boundaries with our son.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 708492, member: 15032"] Sorry for your pain. We all get it here. It's the hardest thing most of us have ever had to do in our lives. I just had a close friend text me last night that she had to kick her 25 year old son and his girlfriend out last week. I had been telling her to do this for over a year but she wasn't ready I guess. She found needles. Burn holes in everything. Had to throw his mattress out. Rotting food all over. 30 bags of garbage in his room. Hard to imagine. She enabled him for very long and his drug use escalated during that time while she pretended everything was "okay". She gave him too much privacy I'd say. She is devastated and scared for his life but she took the right first step and so have you. Others will be along to give you their advice and what has worked for them. Everyone's journey is different. We cannot let our adult children hold us hostage in our own home. We forced our son to go to rehab or to a shelter and he chose rehab but ONLY because he didn't want to be homeless. My therapist said that each time they go (he's gone to plenty) they do have some take aways. They KNOW they need it but they don't want to accept it so usually just blame us as parents. Stay strong and keep reading and posting. This forum and these people gave me the strength I needed to make a change and to continue reinforcing my boundaries with our son. [/QUOTE]
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Adult son mom's guilt needs support
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