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Substance Abuse
Adult son still stealing from me, apparently for drugs
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 656590" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Sad and stressed</p><p></p><p>I am glad to meet you but sorry things are hard. Glad you are back for support.</p><p></p><p>You say: I too have a brilliant son who chooses not to take care of himself. I worry too that he does not have the faculties to do so. But, so far he is surviving. And this way, there is the possibility that he mature, and learn to make better choices. Out on his own he secured SSI, and when he needed a place to live, residential treatment. </p><p></p><p>I have been persuaded that by letting him live here I am absolutely removing any incentive he has for maturing and learning to live as a responsible adult.</p><p></p><p>The way people get socially smart is to confront and solve problems. </p><p></p><p>That our sons do not successfully do so is not a reason, I have learned, to shelter them. Rather, sheltering them only prolongs and worsens the problem.</p><p></p><p>A place to start might be the logic behind the decision that son still live with you.</p><p></p><p>Is your son in college full-time or does he have an illness so severe he cannot take care of himself or arrange to receive support to do so? Even these factors do not preclude a young person from moving out and establishing themselves independently and gaining maturity by doing so.</p><p></p><p>If your son is stealing from your family you need to ask yourself why he remains in your house. </p><p></p><p>If he is buying drugs and you are allowing him to use what he steals to buy these drugs, you are supporting his drug habit. </p><p></p><p>You need to decide on a response to his theft, to protect your family from his behavior. A deadbolt on your other son's door is not enough.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 656590, member: 18958"] Hi Sad and stressed I am glad to meet you but sorry things are hard. Glad you are back for support. You say: I too have a brilliant son who chooses not to take care of himself. I worry too that he does not have the faculties to do so. But, so far he is surviving. And this way, there is the possibility that he mature, and learn to make better choices. Out on his own he secured SSI, and when he needed a place to live, residential treatment. I have been persuaded that by letting him live here I am absolutely removing any incentive he has for maturing and learning to live as a responsible adult. The way people get socially smart is to confront and solve problems. That our sons do not successfully do so is not a reason, I have learned, to shelter them. Rather, sheltering them only prolongs and worsens the problem. A place to start might be the logic behind the decision that son still live with you. Is your son in college full-time or does he have an illness so severe he cannot take care of himself or arrange to receive support to do so? Even these factors do not preclude a young person from moving out and establishing themselves independently and gaining maturity by doing so. If your son is stealing from your family you need to ask yourself why he remains in your house. If he is buying drugs and you are allowing him to use what he steals to buy these drugs, you are supporting his drug habit. You need to decide on a response to his theft, to protect your family from his behavior. A deadbolt on your other son's door is not enough. [/QUOTE]
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Adult son still stealing from me, apparently for drugs
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