adventure.... where are we going?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by needachange, Mar 15, 2009.

  1. needachange

    needachange New Member

    The image verification word was "adventure" and it just matches my feelings so much. This isn't the parenting journey I wanted or expected but here I am. Every day, all day long.

    Last week was a big up and down. We finally started the neuro-psychiatric process. I don't really like the guy doing it much, but he is the only one my insurance will pay for.

    difficult child made a big mistake last week... got sent to the office for refusing to do his work (pretty uncommon actually) and instead of blowing up which has been the pattern in the past he continued his defiance with the principal. She decided to basically take it to the mat and told him that if he continues that defiance he would be unable to continue at our school. Ummmm.... he just got a report card that gave him all B's and C's in citizenship (not great, but I was happy), I have had NO calls home, no conference requests, no referrals, no detentions, NOTHING to precede this. This is a charter school so I am unsure what our rights are but I am pretty sure that as a public school there needs to be a somewhat more involved process than this to kick a kid out. I work here and have constant contact with all staff and I know that this defiance is specific to two teachers. Anyway, they told me that they would write up a behavior contract for him to sign that had making him leave as a consequence. They aren't calling it "expulsion" because I know they can't. I have been trying to put his teacher and therapist in touch for weeks... it just feels terrible for him and me. It might be that this a wake-up call for him and it will work... but until the underlying problems are figured out I know that he can only hold it together for so long before exploding.

    Tonight he ripped him room apart because he thought his dad was laughing at him over a board game. He walks around with so much self-doubt and stress. He calmed down pretty fast and I sat in there and chatted while he put it all back together but I felt sick at heart and so sorry for him. Where is this all going?
  2. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I am going to move this over to general.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    in my opinion it's time for a neuropsychologist evaluation. He's already eleven years old. I wouldn't waste more time.
    ODD rarely stands alone.
    Welcome :)
  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I would ask for the school's written discipline policy. It will spell out the steps to "expulsion".

    Be very careful with that contract - it should also include what the school will do to help prevent that last step. For example, will the school stop "threatening" and actually try to work out whatever is going on? They are not to use threats of being kicked out of school during the discipline process. If you and your son know the process, you will already know at what point he can be turned away. No need for the school to be super negative about it.