Adventures of deprived European difficult child in American supermarket; advice needed

[Mattsmom277]

Sounds like your difficult child is having a great time and I think it's great to hear of his observations. Very neat! The fact that his sport offers travel opportunities such as this, well what a wonderful bonus. I'm glad to read he is mingling with team mates and joining in their adventures.

For junk cereal my vote is on either the multi pack small boxes as recommended, or a box of Fruit Loops. There is also a terribly bad for you, but delicious, Cinnamon Toast Crunch. We don't buy these often because they tend to disappear nearly immediately. When I do purchase them, I take a small storage bag and portion out two servings for myself and hide them. Otherwise they tend to be gone before I get any. I buy a box a few times a year.

With baking mixes, not all brand names are created equal. Some cheaper knock off brands are just terrible tasting. Some are decent but it is kind of hit and miss, especially for someone without experience with them. I would suggest he select a brand name mix if he is buying one. Staff at the store he shops at will be able to advise him and probably will enjoy pointing things out if he lets them know where he is from and that these things aren't available to him back home.

I'm a Twizzlers girl for Liquorice. In Canada I haven't heard of the other brand mentioned here. There are also thicker kinds, Nibs are a great treat. They come in cherry and black.

I find our portions in restaurants daunting and I wish that companies would serve smaller portions. Many of us grew up being told to always finish our plate. The huge portions are often enough for two people. Sometimes three when a appetizer is also selected. easy child and I tend to share when we dine out. If we can't agree on what to order, often I ask when ordering of we may have take out containers for leftovers at the time we are served our meal. easy child and I then transfer a serving to the container before we eat.

We don't have Abercrombie where I live. I loathe the stores that blast music and the ones with all the scent. I simply do not shop at those type of stores. However have been dragged in when shopping with the kids to stores like that. I don't last long before I have a headache.

Back to supermarket things. My cousin moved to the UK quite a long time ago. She always heads back from a visit home, loaded down with things she can't find there and with items friends ask for. She often bakes for fundraisers so she picks up candies for decorating that aren't found in the UK. Your difficult child and his team mates may enjoy tracking down a bulk foods store. They can then purchase small amounts of various treats unavailable back home. My cousin is often asked to bring home miniature colored marshmallows. Also different brands of chocolate bars since so many from north America aren't available in other countries. Same with various flavored potato chips.

 

[Marcie Mac]

I live in a town that is very culturely diverse and have a fast food Kebab place up the road. Tons of middle eastern grocery stores within walking distance which also have food they cook fresh and you can eat on the premises or take home, lots of Indian, Packastani, Greek, Korean, Chinese, Phillapino, Japanese buffet style restaurants. I can't remember the last time I went into a Micky D's, Burger King, Wendy's, Carls or Taco Bell. I think the only exception we make is for In and Out Burgers and even that is rare.

We used to get the papers delivered, LA times, NY times, Wall St Journal but have reverted to subscriptions on line. Especially with the LA times, it seems to weigh about 50 pounds and mostly you pay for adverts for every store that sells something here - there is very little news content

Marcie

 

[InsaneCdn]

North America isn't quite as homogenous as one would think sometimes.
I live in Canada... "somewhere west of Ontario".

We get a daily paper (local) and a weekly news magazine - and all 4 of us read both from cover to cover. Lots of neighbors get a second daily paper (national).

Donairs, Kebabs, and all sorts of other ethnic-based fast foods are quite common out here.

And the friendliness? Well... we call it "western hospitality". Out here, it comes from the whole explorer/pioneer/settler experience, where everyone HAD to depend on others for survival. But it's getting watered down a bit - not nearly the same as it was 20 years ago.

Walking and cycling are not uncommon here, especially in the fair-weather months. (Not many are out walking at -40 in January...!) But not nearly as common as in Europe.

Refillable cups are more common... we like to think we're being environmentally friendly when we spend 20 minutes going through the drive-through at Tim Hortons to get our morning shot of coffee in a refillable mug (insulated style). If you are in a restaurant and want your coffee in a mug... there's lots of options but you will not find it in a fast-food restaurant.

Oh, and if you fell? Chances are fairly high that half the people within 20 meters of you will come rushing over to help. Unless you're dressed in grunge, or were "asking for it" (doing tricks on a skate-board, for example), or are obviously drunk or high.... it's assumed you want or need help, and we wouldn't want to risk just leaving you there.

 

[witzend]

Looks like he should be looking for evaporated milk, Frank's Buffalo Wing Sauce, Twizzlers and any kind of cereal that has cartoon characters and chocolate on the box. LOL. Not a fan of the junk cereals myself but he could look at:

Cocoa Puffs
Sugar Smacks
Fruity Pebbles
Lucky Charms

These are cereals that are very high in sugar. difficult child should look at the ingredients list. Most cereals will have some sugar in them, but it shouldn't be in the top 5 ingredients if he doesn't want a really sugary cereal. Cheerios or Special K or Corn Flakes are good unsweetened cereals. Most people buy these and put a small amount of sugar on them when they pour the bowl - less than a teaspoon. If he likes porridge, he should look for "Instant Oats" or "Cream of Wheat". He can heat some water and add that and a pinch of salt to the bowl and then sweeten as he likes. They are probably not going to want the super-sweet ones if they are used to porridge.

Both "Sweetened Condensed Milk" and "Evaporated Milk" come in a can and are usually used in cooking. The recipe should usually call for one or the other.

Twizzlers are much softer and sweeter than red vines. It's a matter of taste. I prefer red vines.

Baking mixes are handy and cheap. They're very tasty and moist.

 

[DDD]

Witz, I got the impression that he was looking for "novely" cereals to bring home from his trip. If so, lol, in the USA you have a huge choice of unhealthy appealing cereals. DDD

 

[SuZir]

I only live 7 miles from work. My route (in a car) is:
0.1 miles on my residential street
0.9 miles on VERY busy surface street (won't let Jett walk across this one and he is almost 14... Only time I will is when we have 12"-15" of snow so no traffic.)
3.5 miles on 5-lane highway (narrows to 2)
2.5 miles on military installation main circle road (busy busy)
Takes 10-15 minutes including ID check at gate...
...Or I could bike almost the same and it would take around 45 minutes due to traffic, add 2 miles of surface roads because I cannot bike on highway, and risk getting killed by inattentive drivers every 5 minutes. I drive, I get 30+ blessed extra minutes of sleep...

There is a huge difference here, and it is not about laziness, it's about infrastructure. Our cities are not built for cars in the way yours are. In fact when they build something new or plan infrastructure, convenience of public transit and easiness to walk and ride bicycle are very high on the list. My commute to work is only little longer in miles than yours. Only part of it, that doesn't have special cycle path or bikeway (at times shared with pedestrians, but not with anything with motor and mostly pedestrians have their own separated section) is our very small residential road, that we share with three other houses (who are all relatives of my husband.) I have to cross only quiet residential streets without traffic lights (and in those bicycle path and side walk have right of way, car's have to give way.) Few more busy crosses have traffic lights and when crossing over very busy roads there is either bridge over or tunnel under it for bicycles and pedestrians.

European cities tend to be much 'tighter' than US cities. It of course means that they are not as convenient for cars and some people do envy easiness you have with driving from door to door with cars, but most of us like our model more. Maybe just because that is what we have used to.

While we live semi-rural area (going for suburban), it's not far from the bigger city area with around million habitants. Down town is about 20 miles away and while I take my car there in quiet times or to pick up kids, if I want to go for example shopping, I drive five miles to nearest subway station, park my car there and take a subway to the centre. Easier, quicker and cheaper than driving the car and having to find and pay parking in down town.

 

[DammitJanet]

I would be stuck at home because there is no way I could bike or walk like that. It is hard enough for me to drive and then park in the handicapped space then lord help me if they dont have a handicapped cart in the store!

 

[SuZir]

I would be stuck at home because there is no way I could bike or walk like that. It is hard enough for me to drive and then park in the handicapped space then lord help me if they dont have a handicapped cart in the store!

Oh, we can drive cars too, it's just not as convenient always, and it is expensive. Gas is little over 8 dollars per gallon currently so little bit over 100 dollars a month for free use of all public transit in whole metropolitan area for an adult and around 50 dollars per (bigger) kid is very tempting offer, (kids under seven go free.) Though right now only easy child has a monthly ticket in our family. Me and husband buy daily tickets (around 10 dollars) or one trip tickets (around 5 dollars) when needed. Parking can also be expensive and difficult to find, if you are not handicapped. We have a lot of handicap parking places and they are free, but of course you need a handicap permission for those. Those who have a handicap that makes it impossible to drive or who don't have driving licence get certain amount of free (handicap) taxi drives a month. And for example people in wheelchairs are able to use subway easily. Busses are more tricky.

Still, there are not too many people driving bikes during winter, snow and temperature between 30 F and -20 F for four months a year kind of does that...

 

[AnnieO]

You're correct about our infrastructure. In my area, we don't have much in the way of public transpo, either - the Regional Transit Authority (buses) does not come to my county, so we have an on-call service that is greener but not scheduled.

Also due to the fact that American are, let's face it, MASS consumers, we like to park close so we can dump our shopping bags in the car and go back for more. (FWIW I am not counting those who are disabled here - they have a genuine need to park closer. And disability of course is not always visible.)

For the first 14.75 years of my life I lived in a bigger city than I do now. I think we had public transpo but I never rode the buses. I walked and rode my bike all over the place - miles and miles and miles. Mom and Dad drove me when it was too far - but 10 miles to my friend's at age 9-10? No problem! Streets were busy, but there were less people per square mile there. Also we lived sort-of on the edge of town, there wasn't much east of us but desert (now that's the center of town, LOL!)

And... We complain a lot about gasoline being expensive, but we pay FAR less than you. Yesterday I saw it for $3.899/gallon.

 

[Fran]

I love to hear opinions of folks from out of our country. I was shocked when I realized that the USA was not always looked at in a positive light and that Europeans are much more aware of our politics than we are of any European country.

As far as our kids being more confident. I think it starts with Kindergarten with "show and tell". A child brings something special from home and stands before the class to describe it and why it was special. Also, your child has the advantage of coming from a different country to a different culture. Many Americans have never left our borders and don't own a passport. I think the UK is extremely curious and adventuresome with scheduling vacations to foreign lands. On a different note, we generally get 2 wks vacation a yr. instead of 4 wks.
Considering how huge our country is, we are definitely spread out in terms of homes, land, work and shopping. We are such a young country that we are not "fully grown". You have thousands of years on us developing your culture and your country. Things are much cheaper here because there is so much more land, roads, conveniences. If you live outside the city, you drive. Most people want their kids to be have space to play so the suburbs were born. In the larger cities like NY and Chicago and Washington Difficult Child, you will see walking, subways and bikes but some places are too hot and too spread out to make it practical.

You would also have to consider our different climates and regional differences in terms of food. Porridge is more popular in climates where it is more like the UK(New England and northern tier of states) It makes little sense in Miami or Dallas Texas. Most people do not have bacon and eggs or pancakes every day. Toast, cereal, english muffins etc are the norm. We are influenced by hispanic food and eastern food almost more than European foods as the populations of our melting pop increase.

Truth be told it is much cheaper to live, drive and eat in the US. The UK has us beat on medical insurance, social services and community governments. Consequently, we tend to be heavier than other nations but I suspect every country put in the same circumstance would end up the same.
A good friend told me she rode the same train every day for years with the same people to London. It would never occur to anyone to interrupt someone else's day by sharing with them. A polite nod of the head was about it. There is no great need to "share" as Americans tend to do. Maybe a bit too much but we tend to be open and want someone to know us so we talk about ourselves. Not as bragging which I think other countries would view it but because we want people to be friendly and know what we are about. We like to connect. My British friend asked me why would I talk to sales people? I said I was honestly interested in what she had to say. Since she has returned to the UK, she is more friendly and has found people respond well to it.

Getting news from TV alone is usually a personal issue. We read the paper on the internet daily and the tv isn't on all day. I do like some programming in the evening and follow them religiously.

I learned a lot from being in other countries and different parts of the US over a life time. There are positive and negatives all the way around but most people want the same things. A safe place to live, a decent job, good education and opportunities for their children and acceptance in the community.

Cereals- I think a typical not too sweet, not too much like eating tree bark is Life Cereal. in my humble opinion, it's about middle of the road.
I love that you have written this post. It's good for us to realize we are part of a global community. Our culture is still developing and melting. See us in 2000yrs and see if we aren't more like Europe.

 

[TerryJ2]

SuZir, GREAT observations!
I hope you know that in addition to asking questions and receiving answers, you've given us all "food for thought."
Everyone has already responded in regard to what your son could/should buy, but I still wanted to add, that if he has not been overwhelmed quite enough, he can do major league sensory overload by going into a WalMart. Most of them have grocery stores inside now, in addition to a McDonald's. Too much for me ... I go crazy and only go there if I am absolutely desperate.
Still, if he wants something to talk about ...

by the way, I use mixes for most of my baking. It really saves time. It's worth the cost to me, because I was not raised by a mom who liked to bake from scratch, and my grandmother chased us out of the kitchen because we drove her nuts. So I'm still learning... especially since my son can only eat gluten-free cakes and pies, since that is not the norm in our society. Now, I'd say that 80% of my recipes come out well. The rest of the time, I have no idea why I even bother.

 

[SuZir]

difficult child has apparently been busy doing things they actually are there to do for, so no new observations (I think I will get more of those when he comes home in few days. I think he is planning to spend a night at home before heading off to his own home.)

Someone mention what a great opportunity this kind of travelling is for him and I have to agree. I think it is even better than if it would be a family vacation. Kids learn so much when they travel with the team. And organizer of these events usually do their best that visiting teams would see and learn a lot and not only spend their time in sport arenas and hotels. And they do mingle with kids from other teams. Even if difficult child's sport career wouldn't go much further from here and he would never be able to even stabilize his place in the level he is now and would be back to school in few years, these experiences are worth the every penny we have put onto his sport and every hour I have been driving him around for it. I just hope that easy child would be able to make it to these same experiences. When difficult child was always rather clear cut select (even during his most troublesome year, very soon after he had got caught and after his troubles clearly effecting his performance, he was selected), easy child is right there around the cut line. If it's just his year, he is likely to be in, but the coolest opportunities are usually so that most talented from younger age groups take some spots (for example difficult child has made it to the team while two years under-aged) and then easy child is likely to drop. I do hope he will have a great season, not so much because I would hope him to have future in pros, but because I do hope he will be able to make a cut to all these cool travels

I also got interested about the cereals and while in the supermarket yesterday (and this is a big supermarket) I took a close look to our cereal section. It really isn't big. Maybe 30 feet, in one side. Half of it is muesli, then ten feet of those boring healthy cereals and only 5 feet of sugary, chocolaty or just plain rise cereal low on fibre. On the other side of the aisle there is much more than that 30 feet all kinds of porridge options, both instant, quick and those you need to boil an hour. (My absolute favourite porridge is one of those that take a long time to cook, barley porridge cooked in milk is just delicious. Unfortunately I usually have enough time for it only in Saturdays.) But that of course is a matter of tastes. I like porridge better than those healthy cereal options, so that is what I eat. And around here most seem to agree, so porridge is sold much more. I do eat muesli but usually not for breakfast, but for a snack with yoghurt and not that much at the time.

As far as our kids being more confident. I think it starts with Kindergarten with "show and tell". A child brings something special from home and stands before the class to describe it and why it was special. Also, your child has the advantage of coming from a different country to a different culture. Many Americans have never left our borders and don't own a passport. I think the UK is extremely curious and adventuresome with scheduling vacations to foreign lands. On a different note, we generally get 2 wks vacation a yr. instead of 4 wks.

This is something I wanted to also address. I find it very cool how well your school teaches kids to present. There has been a lot of talk around here about it, because we tend to be especially bad in giving presentations and in selling. We have great engineers, but no one seems to know how to sell, not even when the product is actually very good. I know some teachers who have already started to incorporate these 'show and tell' exercises to their pupils and I do hope that will become more of the trend. Maybe in future also in sports our kids can in fact look the camera and not fidget when giving an interview. Now it is in some cases almost painful to watch how obviously uncomfortable some are. My difficult child is not even the worst, though he is afraid of his own team's radio interviewer who once put him in quite a spot (probably not on purpose, they usually don't torment 18-year-olds from the home team after the very good game just for the heck of it.) In fact he presents himself almost better in interviews than in real life.

 

[Nancy]

I find this entire thread so very interesting and have learned a great deal. I find it interesting that this sports team traveled to the U.S. during the time their own country is hosting the Olympics. Was there a particular reason for the travel to be done now? I would have thought they would want to stay home and participate if only to watch the Olympics on TV. I know I am glued to the TV every four years and was thrilled to see the success that the UK is having in these games. They have done a wonderful job with the Olympics and I have enjoyed every minute.

I also wondered if your high schools and colleges have sports teams that the great athletes usually come out of. Here in the U.S. our kids start competing in sports in elemenatry school, then go on to high school and compete with other schools and those talented enough get sports scholarships to college where they compete and hopefullyget drafted into the professional league depending on the sport. Is it as organized in the UK?

Nancy

 

[DDD]

Suzir your last entry brough pleasant memories and a smile to face...I haven't been smiling much lately, lol, so thank you! My former easy child/difficult child just loved doing radio interviews. Usually the station would invite a Coach and three players. Without exaggeration, there was only one other boy who loved participating and the two of them would end up dominating the time segment....politely and with great wit. They were only twelve or so. Happy Days. DDD

 

[Nancy]

SuZir I think I wrongly assumed you were from Britain so you can ignore my comments about the Olympics. I'd still be interested in how your young people enter the sporting arena.

Nancy

 

[witzend]

Witz, I got the impression that he was looking for "novely" cereals to bring home from his trip. If so, lol, in the USA you have a huge choice of unhealthy appealing cereals. DDD

LOL! I could just as easily have gotten it wrong!

 

[SuZir]

Hey, I finally got what this multi-quote thing is! Yay!

I find this entire thread so very interesting and have learned a great deal. I find it interesting that this sports team traveled to the U.S. during the time their own country is hosting the Olympics. Was there a particular reason for the travel to be done now? I would have thought they would want to stay home and participate if only to watch the Olympics on TV. I know I am glued to the TV every four years and was thrilled to see the success that the UK is having in these games. They have done a wonderful job with the Olympics and I have enjoyed every minute.

Actually we are not British but from other European country. Sorry for misconception but I really don't feel comfortable giving very exact location out because I'm talking about very private matters of my son here and if someone from around here would read my posts (and know I'm from here) it would be too easy to find out who my son is.

But anyway things like these Olympics don't influence to these timetables. It's not like any of the boys participating in this event would be in Olympics anyway. Timetables tend to be very traditional, national 'Under whatever' development camp in second week of that month, this international tournament in that week of another month etc. Same times every year. My difficult child is currently participating in two different teams/programs. There is his pro team that pays his salary (and can play him either in their main team, their 'farm team' or their junior team) and then there is national junior program that has right to have him certain amount of time during the year. Or of course he himself could decline national junior program, but no one does that.

They have been able to watch Olympics also while in this event. Though I have to say they were not at all impressed with NBC decision to not show men's 100 meters final live. That whining you could almost hear to this side of the pond (or at least read from their Facebooks and Twitters.)

I also wondered if your high schools and colleges have sports teams that the great athletes usually come out of. Here in the U.S. our kids start competing in sports in elemenatry school, then go on to high school and compete with other schools and those talented enough get sports scholarships to college where they compete and hopefullyget drafted into the professional league depending on the sport. Is it as organized in the UK?

To be honest I'm not very well advised of British system, but I think they do have little bit more school sports than most European countries. We for example don't have any. There is only P.E in schools and only competitions are yearly 'friendly' football (or soccer as you call it) games or track and field competitions between neighbour schools. But all our competitive sports happen in clubs. Individual sports are usually under national programs in higher level (and in clubs in junior and little bit lower level) and team sports are very club based. Every pro team tends to have their own junior organization from very young kids on (like five or six year olds) and during the years best kids navigate to these pro teams junior programs from their smaller clubs. And kids who are cut from these higher level junior teams go to the smaller clubs' teams. National program is just a cherry in top. (But does offer these cool trips and possibilities to showcase.)

In High School level there are some 'sport programs' but mostly they are just to accommodate timetables. Making it possible to train twice a day (=no morning classes) and more support for independent study. In some programs there are little more resources available (things like supporting services, like physiotherapy) but those come from sport federations, not from school itself.

By the way, some of our kids go to US college to continue their sport career. For example our family friends have a daughter who is currently in college in the USA on athletic scholarship for volleyball.

Suzir your last entry brough pleasant memories and a smile to face...I haven't been smiling much lately, lol, so thank you! My former easy child/difficult child just loved doing radio interviews. Usually the station would invite a Coach and three players. Without exaggeration, there was only one other boy who loved participating and the two of them would end up dominating the time segment....politely and with great wit. They were only twelve or so. Happy Days. DDD

Happy to read you got a smile out from this thread! I kind of like this being a good mood thread and that is why I probably shouldn't even write the next two paragraphs. But I still will. So be warned, some frustration ahead (and more about that radio interviewer issue...)

My difficult child is usually okay with interviews, doesn't love them neither does he mind. But he felt he screwed up that one interview so badly that he really doesn't want to repeat the experience. And because he is my passive-aggressive difficult child he of course doesn't actually do anything proactive that would help but sulks instead. And I'm afraid he 'forgets' to go next time he is scheduled and will be in big trouble. These interviews are done in front of fans after game and broadcast in local radio station. This negative experience happened last time he had to do it and I do know he has been fretting having to do it again. I'm sure it would be easy thing to correct, but difficult child is being stubborn and not wanting to actually do anything to it. And he is too old for me to interfere.

The whole thing is stupid. And very typical difficult child. They had an absolutely great game, had a big win, difficult child played one of his best games of the season and was first or second star of the game. This interviewer is very enthusiastic and not at all objective. He was praising difficult child to the moon before and during interview. So I'm sure he didn't make difficult child feel bad on purpose. First it went well, but the interviewer seemed to forget that language they were talking is not difficult child's first language (he is fluent and you can not normally hear it's not his first language, but there is a difference still.) Interviewer used very thick local accent and dialect (that differs a lot from accent and dialect that people talk around here where we live and to which difficult child is used to) and used words and wordplays only used in that part of the country and difficult child didn't understood questions anymore. He was too embarrassed to ask and just tried to guess what he was asked about and answer something vague. In fact I'm sure most of the people who heard that didn't even notice he was totally clueless. And as I said, I'm very sure the interviewer didn't do it on purpose and would be much, much more careful in future if difficult child just would ask him (or ask his coach or management if they could talk to the guy if he is too embarrassed to talk to him himself.) But of course difficult child has to be his own passive-aggressive self and just sulk and not do anything about it.