advice about impulse control

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by jpetrus, Feb 18, 2009.

  1. jpetrus

    jpetrus New Member

    My 5 year old son has been a challenge since he was born, but we have worked with him and overcome many quirky behaviors over the years. He is a very sweet lovable child and does not really have a mean bone in his body. He has a real problem with impulse control. He acts quick and fast, usually getting in other kids space, sometimes hitting and hurting them. Time out doesn't work, and we have role played and talked about what to do instead. It is as if, he doesn't have that connector that makes him think--if I do this, then this could happen. He doesn't ever consider the consequences. Last night, he plugged up the bathroom sink, turned on the water, closed the door and went to bed. He did do it on purpose. It was not an accident. But it was not done to be mean and he was truly sorry when he realized how it flooded our bathroom, get the picture. I truly believe he didn't think about what would happen and once the door was closed he didn't think about it again until I ran in to his room and asked him if he did it.

    I've pretty much decided to take him to the doctor. I am very very hesitant to do this. I have worked in elementary education for 10 years and I have seen some horror stories when it comes to ADHD and medicating children. I do not know if you would call what he has ADHD. He does not have attention problems. He is quite attentive and learns very quickly. It is all impulse control. And he has tons of energy.

    Has anyone else experience anything like this? Is it something I dr. can help with, or did something you did at home help/work? Any insight would be appreciated.

  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi Jpetrus and welcome to the crowd!

    He sounds like a fun little 5 year old. It's wonderful that he doesn't have a mean bone in his body. Impulse control will drive you crazy and can get quite dangerous if it isn't worked with early. Great idea to take him to his dr., but you're really going to want to get a neuropsychologist evaluation done on him.

    Naturally, no one on here is able to diagnose. Heck, most of us spend forever trying to get diagnosis's as well!

    One thing to keep in mind is: if you do this privately and not in conjunction with the school, they will NEVER know the results of the testing that you have done untill you tell them.

    In the event that you have to get an IEP with the school, you can provide them with the data that you've gotten. If placements open up in other classes/schools, that you would like him to go for, you can pick what you will or will not expose to the school.

    I'm exhausted, so I'm hitting the bed early! you'll get more responses soon! Again, welcome - it's a great group to get to know!

  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I think that there may be some processing problems along with the impulse control. I would push for a referral to a neuropsychologist to have him thoroughly tested before trying any medications given by a pediatrician. At the very least, get a referral to a psychiatrist. Pediatricians just don't know enough about the brain to handle this sort of thing.

    A neuropsychologist will do extensive testing and then tell you what is going on. If you can't get into one, maybe seeing a developmental pediatrician would help. It sounds as if you have your hands full, but he also sounds like a very sweet kid.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I would take him to a neuropsychologist, not a regular doctor and I wouldn't trust the school to test him. Although he isn't mean, he IS hitting kids and acting inappropriately in a social setting. I would want to see if he has any disorders that can be helped by interventions. I wouldn't want to guess what's going on. IM layman's opinion it is perhaps a tad more than ADHD. Good luck, whatever you decide.
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I ditto the neurospych testing. They are the best.

    I have a few questions?

    How was difficult child's early development? Did he meet his milestones on time?

    How are his relationships with other children? Adults?

    Does he seem to pick up on social cues?

    Your little guy reminds me of my son, and my grandson. lol Both have hearts made of pure gold. And both can drive you crazy without ever meaning to. ;) The bathtub incident sounds like something my son Travis would've done at age 5. He was quite challenging at that age, kept me busy trying to out think him. But none of it done in malice.

    Glad you found us. Welcome to the board. :D