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advice needed from forum, I posted several months back. My 33 yr old son is in a short term rehab,
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<blockquote data-quote="Stress Bunny" data-source="post: 626924" data-attributes="member: 4855"><p>Shiela,</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry you are going through this and have been for some time. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>You know what you can and cannot do for your adult son, but your mother's heart is wanting to "help". That you would even consider paying for a place for your son to live while going without health insurance yourself, shows the level of self sacrifice going through your mind. Remember that you have already provided money, food, shelter, emotional support, and all the rest, but these have not positively affected your son's behaviors and choices. That's the bad news. But the good news is that it's never too late to stop enabling. When you stop enabling, the consequences of your son's choices will become his, not yours. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Do you see how he is blaming others (you, in this case) for HIS circumstances, which are the direct result of HIS decisions?</p><p></p><p>As you stop enabling him, you can have peace and joy in your own life and he will have a better opportunity to make positive choices in his life. It's a win-win. BUT . . . and this is a big BUT, despite your decision to stop helping him continue in his current lifestyle and choices, he may continue to make poor choices. He may never find his way to good. Your son needs to recover from his Heroin addiction before he has a chance at a healthy, happy life. You can encourage him to seek treatment, but know that he may not or if he does, he may not be successful. </p><p></p><p>Letting go is hard. Acceptance is hard. When you read the posts here, you will find that many others are on the same path, and there is SO much helpful information and emotional support to be found here. It's time to put yourself and your husband as a top priority in your life. </p><p></p><p>Clearly, this has taken its toll on you, emotionally, physically, and financially, and if you don't take care of yourself and your husband, no one will. If you aren't already in counseling, I think you would find it extremely helpful. Others will be along with words of wisdom as well.</p><p></p><p>Again, my heart goes out to you, and I will keep you in my prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stress Bunny, post: 626924, member: 4855"] Shiela, I am so sorry you are going through this and have been for some time. You know what you can and cannot do for your adult son, but your mother's heart is wanting to "help". That you would even consider paying for a place for your son to live while going without health insurance yourself, shows the level of self sacrifice going through your mind. Remember that you have already provided money, food, shelter, emotional support, and all the rest, but these have not positively affected your son's behaviors and choices. That's the bad news. But the good news is that it's never too late to stop enabling. When you stop enabling, the consequences of your son's choices will become his, not yours. Do you see how he is blaming others (you, in this case) for HIS circumstances, which are the direct result of HIS decisions? As you stop enabling him, you can have peace and joy in your own life and he will have a better opportunity to make positive choices in his life. It's a win-win. BUT . . . and this is a big BUT, despite your decision to stop helping him continue in his current lifestyle and choices, he may continue to make poor choices. He may never find his way to good. Your son needs to recover from his Heroin addiction before he has a chance at a healthy, happy life. You can encourage him to seek treatment, but know that he may not or if he does, he may not be successful. Letting go is hard. Acceptance is hard. When you read the posts here, you will find that many others are on the same path, and there is SO much helpful information and emotional support to be found here. It's time to put yourself and your husband as a top priority in your life. Clearly, this has taken its toll on you, emotionally, physically, and financially, and if you don't take care of yourself and your husband, no one will. If you aren't already in counseling, I think you would find it extremely helpful. Others will be along with words of wisdom as well. Again, my heart goes out to you, and I will keep you in my prayers. [/QUOTE]
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advice needed from forum, I posted several months back. My 33 yr old son is in a short term rehab,
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