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advice needed from forum, I posted several months back. My 33 yr old son is in a short term rehab,
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 626993" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Where are the girl's parents, Shiela?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I'm sorry this did not work, Shiela. But you did everything, every single thing, you could do.</p><p></p><p>It still did not work.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am glad. Your son has no business living with you.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Shiela, your son has let YOU down. You raised him better than to do what he is doing. You raised him better than to bring a child into the world with a mother addicted to heroin. You raised him better than to treat you poorly, than to talk to you like he does.</p><p></p><p>Grown men are supposed to help and protect their parents Shiela.</p><p></p><p>You raised him better.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>One of my children was addicted, Shiela. And one of them is mentally ill.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>When I first scraped up the courage (thanks to everyone here on this site, Shiela) to say "NO"...it was really a hard thing to do. Until I did it. Until I said it. The more I said "NO" the better I felt about myself and my life. That word Shiela, "NO" is your key out of this situation. It seems impossible that you could say it?</p><p></p><p>But you can, Shiela.</p><p></p><p>Post about it before you do it, and post about it afterword.</p><p></p><p>We are right here, Shiela. We have all, every single one of us, been right where you are, today.</p><p></p><p>And we got out.</p><p></p><p>You can, too.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>You are here with us now, Shiela. We're all pretty scared most of the time. I like to pretend I am good with everything that happens to my daughter or to my son? But really, I am so hurt, so scared most of the time for my grandchildren I can hardly stand it. I am angry so much, Shiela. And though there is so much I don't know, what I do know, what I have learned over all these terrible years, is that the only person who can reclaim my life is me.</p><p></p><p>You can do it, Shiela. We were never meant to suffer like this over things we cannot control. When our children are addicted or mentally ill, that is not anything we can fix. No matter what we try, nothing works. It is like throwing money down a bottomless hole to try to help them. </p><p></p><p>Well, that's the end of my raving. </p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the site, Shiela.</p><p></p><p>This is a good, safe place, and I am happy you found all of us.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Shiela, what you will find here on the site are parents who have been right where you are. We have spent the desperate nights, stumbled to the phone in the dark with our hearts in our mouths, blamed ourselves and taken our own lives into some dark, hopeless place we believed we deserved because one of our children was destroying himself and we could not help him or her.</p><p></p><p>The other thing you will find Shiela, if you stay with us here, is that each of us is learning to survive what has happened to us and to our children. We are learning to choose survival, Shiela. </p><p></p><p>As you stay with us, as you post and respond to us on those days when our own hearts are broken and our faith in ourselves and in this process is shaken, you will learn that it is possible for you to learn to choose survival, too, Shiela. You can choose that for yourself, for your husband, for your marriage.</p><p></p><p>You can reclaim the right to celebrate your life Shiela, whatever is happening with your boy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 626993, member: 17461"] Where are the girl's parents, Shiela? I'm sorry this did not work, Shiela. But you did everything, every single thing, you could do. It still did not work. I am glad. Your son has no business living with you. Shiela, your son has let YOU down. You raised him better than to do what he is doing. You raised him better than to bring a child into the world with a mother addicted to heroin. You raised him better than to treat you poorly, than to talk to you like he does. Grown men are supposed to help and protect their parents Shiela. You raised him better. One of my children was addicted, Shiela. And one of them is mentally ill. When I first scraped up the courage (thanks to everyone here on this site, Shiela) to say "NO"...it was really a hard thing to do. Until I did it. Until I said it. The more I said "NO" the better I felt about myself and my life. That word Shiela, "NO" is your key out of this situation. It seems impossible that you could say it? But you can, Shiela. Post about it before you do it, and post about it afterword. We are right here, Shiela. We have all, every single one of us, been right where you are, today. And we got out. You can, too. You are here with us now, Shiela. We're all pretty scared most of the time. I like to pretend I am good with everything that happens to my daughter or to my son? But really, I am so hurt, so scared most of the time for my grandchildren I can hardly stand it. I am angry so much, Shiela. And though there is so much I don't know, what I do know, what I have learned over all these terrible years, is that the only person who can reclaim my life is me. You can do it, Shiela. We were never meant to suffer like this over things we cannot control. When our children are addicted or mentally ill, that is not anything we can fix. No matter what we try, nothing works. It is like throwing money down a bottomless hole to try to help them. Well, that's the end of my raving. :O) Welcome to the site, Shiela. This is a good, safe place, and I am happy you found all of us. Cedar Shiela, what you will find here on the site are parents who have been right where you are. We have spent the desperate nights, stumbled to the phone in the dark with our hearts in our mouths, blamed ourselves and taken our own lives into some dark, hopeless place we believed we deserved because one of our children was destroying himself and we could not help him or her. The other thing you will find Shiela, if you stay with us here, is that each of us is learning to survive what has happened to us and to our children. We are learning to choose survival, Shiela. As you stay with us, as you post and respond to us on those days when our own hearts are broken and our faith in ourselves and in this process is shaken, you will learn that it is possible for you to learn to choose survival, too, Shiela. You can choose that for yourself, for your husband, for your marriage. You can reclaim the right to celebrate your life Shiela, whatever is happening with your boy. [/QUOTE]
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advice needed from forum, I posted several months back. My 33 yr old son is in a short term rehab,
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