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advice needed from forum, I posted several months back. My 33 yr old son is in a short term rehab,
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 627099" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Shiela, is there a Salvation Army location in your town or in one nearby. One of my good friends---she and her husband---are the directors of the unit here. My son has stayed in their shelter multiple times.</p><p></p><p>She recently told me that they will work with their shelter residents and others to develop a life plan, with goals, support and referrals. She also continues to reaffirm me as I work hard to let go of my son. She says there is so much help out there for people who want it.</p><p></p><p>We have a day shelter in town here who also has a social worker and a "navigator" who helps clients get a resume, find a job, etc. They have a washer and dryer so people can wash clothes and a place to take a shower.</p><p></p><p>There IS help I have learned. At one point recently my son had two meals a day at the day shelter, evening meals at the Salvation Army---on weekdays----two meals a day on the weekend plus food stamps. </p><p></p><p>Also, does your son have health insurance? Can he get into an intensive outpatient program to support what he has begun in rehab? What about living in a halfway house? </p><p></p><p>I live in a suburban area of about 110,000 people close to a large urban area about 25 miles away. In the large city, there are even more services.</p><p></p><p>I know this is so hard. I know because I have done exactly what you are doing. It is the hardest thing in the world to do, and it does not feel good at all.</p><p></p><p>But Shiela, have the other approaches you have tried worked? We must let them find their way.</p><p></p><p>Your son has to do the hard, hard work himself. Just like you do. We both---parents and difficult children---have gone down unhealthy paths together. We both have to change, and nobody else can do it for us. </p><p></p><p>Focus on you, Shiela. YOU. Write down what you would like to have happen with your son---how your interactions will look, how often for visits, phone calls, text messages, emails. What you will say. What you will do and not do. </p><p></p><p>Writing it down helps. Big hugs for you today. Hang in there. Keep moving forward. </p><p></p><p>God is in charge, not any of us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 627099, member: 17542"] Shiela, is there a Salvation Army location in your town or in one nearby. One of my good friends---she and her husband---are the directors of the unit here. My son has stayed in their shelter multiple times. She recently told me that they will work with their shelter residents and others to develop a life plan, with goals, support and referrals. She also continues to reaffirm me as I work hard to let go of my son. She says there is so much help out there for people who want it. We have a day shelter in town here who also has a social worker and a "navigator" who helps clients get a resume, find a job, etc. They have a washer and dryer so people can wash clothes and a place to take a shower. There IS help I have learned. At one point recently my son had two meals a day at the day shelter, evening meals at the Salvation Army---on weekdays----two meals a day on the weekend plus food stamps. Also, does your son have health insurance? Can he get into an intensive outpatient program to support what he has begun in rehab? What about living in a halfway house? I live in a suburban area of about 110,000 people close to a large urban area about 25 miles away. In the large city, there are even more services. I know this is so hard. I know because I have done exactly what you are doing. It is the hardest thing in the world to do, and it does not feel good at all. But Shiela, have the other approaches you have tried worked? We must let them find their way. Your son has to do the hard, hard work himself. Just like you do. We both---parents and difficult children---have gone down unhealthy paths together. We both have to change, and nobody else can do it for us. Focus on you, Shiela. YOU. Write down what you would like to have happen with your son---how your interactions will look, how often for visits, phone calls, text messages, emails. What you will say. What you will do and not do. Writing it down helps. Big hugs for you today. Hang in there. Keep moving forward. God is in charge, not any of us. [/QUOTE]
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advice needed from forum, I posted several months back. My 33 yr old son is in a short term rehab,
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