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Advice needed - Long but I am really confused
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<blockquote data-quote="tracy551" data-source="post: 33386" data-attributes="member: 3565"><p>Sounds alot like my 16 year old (who will be 17 in May also). We could never see eye to eye on anything. Always fighting, etc. Then one day he got "mad" and put his fist thru the front window. ( 15 stitches) I finally, after many different counselors, called CYS I did not know where else to turn. We were given a case worker and an in home team for "family counseling". This worked for a while but then it all went down hill.</p><p>We ended up going to court and he was placed in a boot camp for 5 months. He did wonderful there, excelled thru the program and received his rank faster then anyone. He came home and all was well for a while, the anger was much less and we talked more.</p><p>Now 7 months later he is back in placement (he desided school was no longer for him, stopped attending meetings, got into drugs, and stopped coming home) </p><p>I know you want to give up because I did too. I love my son as I'm sure do too, but sometimes we can't give them what they need. I've faced the fact even though I'm his mom I can't fix everything. beleive me when they are placed they tell you everything you want to hear and you begin to second guess your choice. You'll think I was wrong we can fix this he doesn't need to be here. I thought the same thing. But I realized I can't fix it only difficult child can and until he realizes that things will never be right. </p><p>now I'm not saying to get into the court system the way we did, but if your difficult child is acting the way you say HE will get into it all by himself. </p><p>I realized that no matter what I did or didn't do my difficult child made his own choices and basically put himself back into placement. He knew what he needed to do to continue to stay home and HE chose to the wrong thing.</p><p>Don't think if you ask for outside help you don't love your child, look at it as SAVING them before it's too late.</p><p>GOOD LUCK AND KEEP ME POSTED.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tracy551, post: 33386, member: 3565"] Sounds alot like my 16 year old (who will be 17 in May also). We could never see eye to eye on anything. Always fighting, etc. Then one day he got "mad" and put his fist thru the front window. ( 15 stitches) I finally, after many different counselors, called CYS I did not know where else to turn. We were given a case worker and an in home team for "family counseling". This worked for a while but then it all went down hill. We ended up going to court and he was placed in a boot camp for 5 months. He did wonderful there, excelled thru the program and received his rank faster then anyone. He came home and all was well for a while, the anger was much less and we talked more. Now 7 months later he is back in placement (he desided school was no longer for him, stopped attending meetings, got into drugs, and stopped coming home) I know you want to give up because I did too. I love my son as I'm sure do too, but sometimes we can't give them what they need. I've faced the fact even though I'm his mom I can't fix everything. beleive me when they are placed they tell you everything you want to hear and you begin to second guess your choice. You'll think I was wrong we can fix this he doesn't need to be here. I thought the same thing. But I realized I can't fix it only difficult child can and until he realizes that things will never be right. now I'm not saying to get into the court system the way we did, but if your difficult child is acting the way you say HE will get into it all by himself. I realized that no matter what I did or didn't do my difficult child made his own choices and basically put himself back into placement. He knew what he needed to do to continue to stay home and HE chose to the wrong thing. Don't think if you ask for outside help you don't love your child, look at it as SAVING them before it's too late. GOOD LUCK AND KEEP ME POSTED. [/QUOTE]
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