Advice please


My son is being very difficult daily. He is under a court order to follow rules of home, community and school and is failing to follow those rules. He fights every request and demand to help around the house, pick up his things, follow rules that everyone else follows. He ignores some rules or claims to forget or states that we never told him. He is going to be quite surprised when he is removed.

WE have been told that Children's services will not grant a 30 day voluntary surrender of custody. I believe I am going to have to push this. WE had him removed once before when he was younger (12), he was gone for 30 days and we then had to fight to get him back. If he goes to temporary custody he will enter the foster care system at 17. The court date for the unruly child charges is Nov 20.

Can Children's services deny our 30 day voluntary surrender? I am at a loss as to what to do next. Our home is a mess (figuratively and literally) due to the chaos caused by him and his lifestyle/refusal. My husband is not coping well and I continue to fight the good fight.
I think he is more than you can handle and I think you should let him go. I don't think you can help him and since he is a minor, let the system help him. If you wait until he is 18, there will be nowhere for him to go but the streets. Right now, there is somewhere for him to go. He sounds like he needs many years of treatment, not 30 days. You have your daughter to think about. Best wishes.


Thanks for the kind words. Yes, we are moving on with years of treatment. he has had services since 6 years old. I believe that on Nov 20, his court date, he will be removed by the court. What I am looking for now is voluntary placement for 30 days. We give up rights for 30 days voluntarily. That is what children's services will not do. I am wondering if I should push for it, due his property destruction, stealing, lying, and intimidation.


Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
I am so sorry for your difficulties. Safety is important. If he is getting older, bigger and stronger it is time to find a nmnkre permanent solution for his unchanging behaviour.

The 30 days respite is a good place to start, but what then? Back to the same old situation?