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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 723355" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>If you can, try to remember this is right for your kids and to take husbands family with a grain of salt. They are hiding the worst from you. It is sick for a 15 year old boy to want to see a baby's privates. It is not normal child curiousity due to the tremendous age difference. It is pedophelia. At 15, if boys are interested in girls, and most are, they look at naked pictures of women, say, in Playboy or online or try to have a relationship with a same age peer. I remember fighting off curious boys at 15!! They wanted to see same age girls, not babies!</p><p></p><p>You may have to detach from your relationship with husband's family. It is okay if you do, even if husband is upset at first. But you should not be punished or abused for protecting your kids.</p><p></p><p>One has to wonder why somebody in her mid 50s would want to adopt a two year old. Did she feel a need to be adored again? That is grandma age, not little toddler's mother's age. Dad seems more with it...more aware.</p><p></p><p>One thing I can tell you for a fact. i took six weeks of classes too before being able to adopt and the classes were a joke. None of these problems were addressed in a serious way. It was more like "a child may be angry and act out, but with therapy, boundaries and love it can all work out " Fast. Not detailed. Videos of smiling families. God knows if these were real or actors.</p><p></p><p>These damaged kids do not respond to consequences or boundaries. They often go dangerously ballistic if told what to do. They do not accept control over themselves. They do not listen to or, if they pretend to, learn from normal discipline. How can you discipline a child who wont listen or may hurt you if you try to take control? How do you give consequences to somebody who doesnt care? This is a child with damaged attachment plus possible additional brain damage from drugs snd alcohol maybe taken by the birthmother while she was pregnant.</p><p></p><p>Do what is best for your kids and yourself and allow husband to deal with his family in his way. He has a very odd mother and Dad seems to just go along with it. Bet the adoption in her 50s was her idea and he just did it to pacify her. I am surprised they allowed such older adults to adopt a toddler.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, in my opinion you deserve big kudos. Your own family must come first, even if hub feels he must deal with mom's drama. You do not have to. You can back off and let them bask in their drama without you. Husband may join you one day. My guess is, he will.</p><p></p><p>Big hugs and keep posting. We care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 723355, member: 1550"] If you can, try to remember this is right for your kids and to take husbands family with a grain of salt. They are hiding the worst from you. It is sick for a 15 year old boy to want to see a baby's privates. It is not normal child curiousity due to the tremendous age difference. It is pedophelia. At 15, if boys are interested in girls, and most are, they look at naked pictures of women, say, in Playboy or online or try to have a relationship with a same age peer. I remember fighting off curious boys at 15!! They wanted to see same age girls, not babies! You may have to detach from your relationship with husband's family. It is okay if you do, even if husband is upset at first. But you should not be punished or abused for protecting your kids. One has to wonder why somebody in her mid 50s would want to adopt a two year old. Did she feel a need to be adored again? That is grandma age, not little toddler's mother's age. Dad seems more with it...more aware. One thing I can tell you for a fact. i took six weeks of classes too before being able to adopt and the classes were a joke. None of these problems were addressed in a serious way. It was more like "a child may be angry and act out, but with therapy, boundaries and love it can all work out " Fast. Not detailed. Videos of smiling families. God knows if these were real or actors. These damaged kids do not respond to consequences or boundaries. They often go dangerously ballistic if told what to do. They do not accept control over themselves. They do not listen to or, if they pretend to, learn from normal discipline. How can you discipline a child who wont listen or may hurt you if you try to take control? How do you give consequences to somebody who doesnt care? This is a child with damaged attachment plus possible additional brain damage from drugs snd alcohol maybe taken by the birthmother while she was pregnant. Do what is best for your kids and yourself and allow husband to deal with his family in his way. He has a very odd mother and Dad seems to just go along with it. Bet the adoption in her 50s was her idea and he just did it to pacify her. I am surprised they allowed such older adults to adopt a toddler. Anyway, in my opinion you deserve big kudos. Your own family must come first, even if hub feels he must deal with mom's drama. You do not have to. You can back off and let them bask in their drama without you. Husband may join you one day. My guess is, he will. Big hugs and keep posting. We care. [/QUOTE]
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