Advice would be great!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Joanne, May 5, 2009.

  1. Joanne

    Joanne New Member

    Hi everyone,

    I have just come across this site and looking through other threads i can see you all offer wonderful support and advice for each other.

    I have a 5 year old son, who has always been extremely challenging. When he was 2 i was at my wits end and my doctor referred me to a community pediatrician she was brilliant help but kept trying to refer me to parenting classes, i went once and soon realised it was not what me or my son needed!
    Now Jack is at school his teachers have picked up on his extremly challenging, aggressive behaviour. He won't do as he told and will fly into outrage as soon as he's told off.
    The school nurses have referred him yet again to a community pediatrician, and i'm waiting for the appointment to come through.
    I seriously don't know what to do for the best any more, i feel like i have tried everything and nothing makes any difference!!!!!
    He doesnt listen, doesnt care who he hits, bites, punches, or pushes and no disipline seems to have an effect. He won't sit at school to do anything and the bigger he gets the harder it is getting for me to deal with him :(
    He is such a lovely boy nd i dont know what i should be doing for the best???
    Thankyou in advance
    Any advice or support would be great
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Hi Joanne,

    It's tough being a mom of one of these difficult little darlin's so I'm glad you found this site. I hope we'll be a good source of information and encouragement to you.

    There are two books that I'd recommend you read through--one to help you think through what kinds of things might be at the root of his behaviors and the other to help you deal with the challenges. You might need to order them through Amazon but it will be worth it to you.

    What Your Explosive Child Is Trying to Tell You: Discovering the Pathway from Symptoms to Solutions by Dr. Douglas Riley

    The Explosive Child by Ross Greene

    Outside of the difficult aggressive behavior are you seeing anything unusual or different about him--sleep patterns, eating habits, speech, play, clothes that he likes or doesn't like, etc?
  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Joanne, welcome!

    I'm really not an expert in this but a lot of us know what you are going through. I'm sure someone will chime in with the UK's answer to a neuropsychologist (may be the same, I'm not sure) - the first thing you need to do is find out what you are dealing with and that may be a good way to start.

    In the meantime if you can, pick up a copy of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Green. I read this book first thing when I was referred by another Mom on this site and a lot of the information in it really helped.

    Since I'm on the other side of the "pond", I'm not sure what a community pediatrician is - we have a primary care provider, and he refers us to specialists as necessary. Can you elaborate?

    One last note - parenting classes may not help your son, but they might help you keep your cool when dealing with him. The court ordered husband and ths kids' biomom to attend, I went with husband so we'd be on the same page. Lots of good information, and some of the stuff I learned I still try to use several years later!