Hi all. I'm new here. I'm at the end of my rope and do not know where else to go for help.
Here is my situation.
My girlfriend and her 3 children (5,10 & 13) moved in with me a few months ago. I have 2 children of my own (13 and 15). My girlfriend's 13 year old boy has always has anger issues and gotten into trouble. He has been worse lately. He will not listen to his Mom when told to do something. He has put holes in my walls. He is constantly physically abusing his younger brother (the 10 year old). I have wireless cameras thoughout the house in the living areas. I just watched him punch his brother in the back at full force.
He ran away 2 weeks ago, and was gone for 24 hours before getting caught shoplifting. The store would not press charges because he is a minor, so my girlfriend had to go pick him up and bring him home. She has been dealing with this for years and she has cracked. She is frustrated and lost and has no more patience to give. He got mad an put a small dent in her car, so we called the cops and had him arrested, which means they fingerprint him and bring him right back to us an hour later. The 24 hours he was gone was the calmest time we have had in our home ever.
I feel horrible for thinking or saying this, but we want him to run away and stay away. It is his mission to destroy the lives of everyone around him, and we have the other kids to take care of, not to mention our own sanity. He won't run away, because he realized he can't make it on his own, and he quickly got hungry. We love him, but I don't think there is anything else we can do for the boy. There is a good kid in there sometimes, but for the most part, he is just an evil little brat. I share my 2 kids with their Mom, and custody battles are always looming, so I cannot have this brat around my kids because I could lose my kids over this.
My girlfriend will be paying off medical bills for some hospital/treatment facility stays that did nothing, as well as phycologists/pshycatrists that have had zero effect. We looked into military schools and boys ranch options, but the cost is insane, and not covered by my girlfriend's insurance. We simply cannot afford the cost it would take to save him.
Has anybody else been through this and found a solution? I am in a corner. My only solution is to kick the girlfriend out and take her kids with her, but that is not a good solution, because she needs my help, and I am not okay with allowing a 13 year old brat to dictate the relationship between my girlfrind and I. There has to be a solution that I have not thought of.
Thank you for your advice.
Here is my situation.
My girlfriend and her 3 children (5,10 & 13) moved in with me a few months ago. I have 2 children of my own (13 and 15). My girlfriend's 13 year old boy has always has anger issues and gotten into trouble. He has been worse lately. He will not listen to his Mom when told to do something. He has put holes in my walls. He is constantly physically abusing his younger brother (the 10 year old). I have wireless cameras thoughout the house in the living areas. I just watched him punch his brother in the back at full force.
He ran away 2 weeks ago, and was gone for 24 hours before getting caught shoplifting. The store would not press charges because he is a minor, so my girlfriend had to go pick him up and bring him home. She has been dealing with this for years and she has cracked. She is frustrated and lost and has no more patience to give. He got mad an put a small dent in her car, so we called the cops and had him arrested, which means they fingerprint him and bring him right back to us an hour later. The 24 hours he was gone was the calmest time we have had in our home ever.
I feel horrible for thinking or saying this, but we want him to run away and stay away. It is his mission to destroy the lives of everyone around him, and we have the other kids to take care of, not to mention our own sanity. He won't run away, because he realized he can't make it on his own, and he quickly got hungry. We love him, but I don't think there is anything else we can do for the boy. There is a good kid in there sometimes, but for the most part, he is just an evil little brat. I share my 2 kids with their Mom, and custody battles are always looming, so I cannot have this brat around my kids because I could lose my kids over this.
My girlfriend will be paying off medical bills for some hospital/treatment facility stays that did nothing, as well as phycologists/pshycatrists that have had zero effect. We looked into military schools and boys ranch options, but the cost is insane, and not covered by my girlfriend's insurance. We simply cannot afford the cost it would take to save him.
Has anybody else been through this and found a solution? I am in a corner. My only solution is to kick the girlfriend out and take her kids with her, but that is not a good solution, because she needs my help, and I am not okay with allowing a 13 year old brat to dictate the relationship between my girlfrind and I. There has to be a solution that I have not thought of.
Thank you for your advice.