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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 721110" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>hi culture. </p><p></p><p>there is a post that sam3 wrote last night or this morning on a thread of mine. that may give some perspective.</p><p></p><p>i really do not know how to do what she suggests but i will try to learn.</p><p></p><p>her point is that our children do not necesssarily intend to hurt us. that our suffering comes from how we interpret what they do and personalizing the effects of their suffering.</p><p></p><p>your wife is terrified. she is traumatized. it is a parent's worst nightmare what she is living. and on so many levels she must blame herself. she is trying mightily to unload some of this by focusing on you.</p><p></p><p>you (i) can stay in our own lane (like you are doing) and not take it on. do what you determine you can and take care of yourself. this is very hard for me.</p><p></p><p>you are doing it.</p><p></p><p>your wife's fury is a coping mechanism. what is beneath it is too horrible for her to bear right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 721110, member: 18958"] hi culture. there is a post that sam3 wrote last night or this morning on a thread of mine. that may give some perspective. i really do not know how to do what she suggests but i will try to learn. her point is that our children do not necesssarily intend to hurt us. that our suffering comes from how we interpret what they do and personalizing the effects of their suffering. your wife is terrified. she is traumatized. it is a parent's worst nightmare what she is living. and on so many levels she must blame herself. she is trying mightily to unload some of this by focusing on you. you (i) can stay in our own lane (like you are doing) and not take it on. do what you determine you can and take care of yourself. this is very hard for me. you are doing it. your wife's fury is a coping mechanism. what is beneath it is too horrible for her to bear right now. [/QUOTE]
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