Afternoon at the pool

[Malika]

I accompanied the school to the swimming pool this afternoon (they can only go if they have parents go along too to help with small groups of children). Working with small children really is a special occupation with special demands. The teacher, frankly, doesn't really fit the bill. In my view, of course. One of the girls - aged three or four - a very timid, delicate-looking child, was crying vehemently at the pool, saying she didn't want to go in. She seemed extremely upset. The teacher brusquely insisted she get in the water, ridiculing her and overriding all her obvious distress. Apparently later the child was violently sick all over the changing room floor... again the teacher made some dismissive comment to her about this. When we were leaving, this little girl came up and put her hand in mine. I asked her why she had been upset, was she frightened of water? No, she said, she had some wounds on her knees that hurt in the water... no-one had asked her or listened to her, of course!
I find this teacher very brutal in her methods. I think she just does not know how to be with children, actually, other than ruling them with an iron fist. Strange she should have chosen to work with little ones.
It is J's last 3 weeks with her. After that, he goes to the school next door where the existing teacher is leaving and a new teacher is arriving, a man. Apparently he is late 30s, nice but rather introverted, seems academically serious - this according to the assessment of the current teacher, who has met him. He has never taught a single class of five levels, ages 6 to 11, before. I honestly don't know if I am doing the right thing leaving J in this school but... time will tell, I suppose.

 

[TeDo]

Good for you for taking the time to listen to the little girl. You are definitely the parent of a difficult child...you know what to do and how to do it. As for the teacher, we have some like that here. It hoovers and is soooo unfair to the children. The new teacher might actually be just what J needs after having the one he's got now. You're right, only time will tell.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Find ways to volunteer in the classroom EARLY in the year. It will give you a better handle on the situation, faster than any other possible method. You'll know soon enough if you have to start working on plan B.

 

[BusynMember]

I honestly, truly think you should volunteer.

I also think you worry about too much about school. Our kids get great teachers to bad ones...there is no perfect school where all the teachers respond to the kids how we'd want them to. Having put four kids through school, I can say we've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I hung around the schools a lot They treat your kid better if they know you are watching them.

 

[Malika]

Well, you say that MWM, but J has begun to be quite seriously affected by the apparent inability of this teacher to take into account his difficulties and to give him postive reinforcement

 

[Ktllc]

I also vote for volunteering, if at all possible. But as a newer teacher, he might actually welcome the free help.
On a side note, I actually think it is VERY good for a little boy to have a male teacher, specially since you raise him as a single woman and his father is so far. You could actually work this angle a bit: kind of his working with J will have a great influence on a little boy's developing mind. People tend to respond more positively when their work is agknowledged.

 

[InsaneCdn]

They treat your kid better if they know you are watching them.

Well... MOST of them do. We've had ones that didn't. Had long-term tenure, couldn't be fired for anything less than being convicted of child abuse in the classroom. Got away with extremely damaging tactics. Admins knew about it - but had no power to even force her to switch schools.

 

[whatamess]

Disgusting (the treatment of the little girl by the teacher)! Honestly, it is as if her age/size means she is less than human with no legitimate concerns or distresses. I think it is abusive from the child's perspective. I'm glad you listened to her, but how frightening for that child to have to be in the presence of that teacher day in and day out with little hope of being heard, acknowledged or understood.

 

[BusynMember]

Well, as somebody who did not do well in school and who puzzled teachers, most teachers were not that kind to me and, yes, they did make my self-esteem even worse, Malika, so I do know what you mean. I am not sure teachers are any kinder to their "difficult" students today...but I certainly hope so.

 

[Malika]

Lol, MWM, this teacher isn't kind to her "good" students either! Indulging in a bit more armchair psychology, I would say that something soft and tender in her was really shattered in her own childhood and now she is doing it to other little ones. But who knows! I do see that weakness and vulnerability make her very aggressive and brutal. She then pinpoints and ridicules the vulnerability...
I too think a male teacher would be very positive for J. I just hope he isn't too "dry" and scholarly. The current teacher of the big school is very lively and fun and took the children on lots of outings here and there, did theatre with them, etc. As for volunteering in his classroom - I don't think that would be allowed or appropriate except if I offered to do a bit of English with the children, which may well be acceptable.

 

[whatamess]

Malika,

Could you and J give informal English lessons to students? I wonder how J would react to being your assistant in teaching?

 

[TerryJ2]

Malika, I am so glad you could be there for that girl.
The teacher is definitely in the wrong field!
Fingers crossed for the educational road ahead. I hope the 30-yr-old guy works out well.