Some of you may remember how my easy child/difficult child 'tween son was saying he was having frightening thoughts that were keeping him from sleeping, and he thought suicide might be better than facing any of the horrible deaths he was imagining. He has also been tearful lately and not wanting to be left alone. So I asked him about seeing a GP for a chat and to see what would be the best way to help him. He agreed, and I got the appointment for today and said I'd pick him up at home and take him. So I took off work and got home...and no one was there. I called his cell, and he didn't answer. I called the nanny (who mainly cares for my daughter but normally knows where my son is and also knew we had this appointment), and she didn't answer her cell either. Called husband at work -- he knew nothing. Went to the doctor's office in case my (very independent) boy had gone on his own -- no sign of him. Went back home -- he still wasn't there either. Returned to the doctor's office and figured I'd at least talk to the GP myself to give him all the information I could. After all, he'd generously rearranged his schedule to fit in my son. But of course by that time I was feeling pretty fragile. I was embarrassed that my son was a no-show and that I had to admit I couldn't find him. And I was furious that I was missing work and getting behind on a project and not even getting my son in front of a doctor for my trouble. So I was really in no condition to hear what the doctor had to say. He wasn't exactly unkind, but what he said really upset me. He suggested my son is talking about being depressed as a way of manipulating me to get attention and to get out of chores and that I need to be stricter. He even mentioned Munchhausen's at one point (which I guess by extension means I might have Munchhausen's-by-proxy; after all, I had claimed my son was seriously in need of help, but said child had dodged the appointment). He then seemed to conclude that my son doesn't get enough attention from husband and me, so we need to spend more time one-on-one doing fun things with him. But, he said, my son would have to be invested in the success of these activities, so we should draw up a contract with him. I have no desire to enter any sort of contractual relationship with my child. But what really bothered me was that the doctor was spewing all this advice without having talked to the kid yet. And I didn't like him impugning my kid's character, either, saying he's manipulating me. I can see my son is in pain (he has been crying a lot) -- he's not perfect, but I'm pretty sure he's not a sociopath. And here the GP was saying, well, you know, it could be a personality disorder, not depression, but don't worry, maybe it's not a serious personality disorder. Oh, okay then. Well, actually, not okay! I started to cry. Then after nearly an hour of this (during which time I again called home and got no answer), the doctor said he didn't think he was the right one to examine my son in any case, that I really should see another member of the practice. (Note that in requesting the appointment I had summarized the issue, so he met with me already knowing that he wasn't going to want the case.) I got even more upset then, because having just explained the whole disturbing situation I realized that I would now have to start from the beginning with this other physician. So I had just taken time off work and spilled all this very personal, painful information for nothing. I left and went back to work. A little while later my son called. He had been playing at a friend's house (something he's allowed to do without special permission, as we know the family well) and simply forgotten the appointment. I had confirmed the appointment with him just last night, so getting distracted and forgetting about it was ridiculous, but I don't disbelieve him. He's always zoning out. The other night he asked me to check his homework, and while the work itself was fine, he'd forgotten to write the last two letters of his first name! He's just weird that way. Of course, he may also have wanted to forget. But he seemed genuinely remorseful and repeatedly apologized and was very solicitous of me all evening. I don't know, is that just manipulative? I asked him if he wanted to see the other doctor next week, and he said yes, so I guess I get to try again. But now I'm dealing with a new layer of anxiety about whether I'm again going to be told this is about my being a too-absent or too-naive parent. And I feel like I never want to see the original GP again, even though before this I'd liked him. Thanks for the space to vent. I'm sorry for your own troubles and hope everyone somehow has a nice weekend.