Today I realized that despite my many and varied efforts, things are not improving. I have otherwise known this and struggled with what this means... But in therapy today I was given some insight. Maybe this is not so much about my son, and all of his challenges and at risk behaviour. Maybe, just maybe this is about me. I tread carefully and constantly to keep a balance of discipline or rules, and empathy, understanding. Today I had this aha! moment, what if it's really about my fear of who I am without being his hands on mother all the time? I've been a mother since 23, a lot of my identity is wrapped up in being a mother, so creating boundaries that I know will be crossed feels like setting myself up to feel like more of a failure as a mother. I'd like some feedback on how others have found their footing in being self assured, knowing you have been the best parent you can be, but that sometimes this does not work. I would like to hear how others have actually worked at detaching when these parent/child relationships are so enmeshed and so tied to our identities.