All i want for christmas

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by wakeupcall, Dec 18, 2008.

  1. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    ~~~is respect from my difficult child. I've never, ever had respect from him and I notice it more and more the older he gets. It makes me so sad. I've done all I can think of, all the therapists have ever told me to do, etc. and he's still the most hateful and disrespectful child I know. The disrespect is relentless and day, hour, minute. Every morning it's screeching at the top of his lungs (just to be annoying and it works), kicking at the dogs to make them growl and bark, pounding on the walls and doors, sticking his tongue out at me, making faces, telling me NO, trashing each room as he walks through it, lying with every breath. THIS IS EVERY SINGLE DAY, BAR NONE. Oddly enough, or not so oddly, his bio father is exactly the same way and has led a horrible adult life. All that we've done as difficult child's adoptive parents has seemed to have had very little impact on him. Where did we go wrong? I feel like throwing up my hands and letting go of him. I'm so weary.....

    Unstable, you say? Then what will make him stable? We've done all the medications over a nine year period. He's had therapy since he was four years old. What's left? Living away from us, you say? We will retire in a few short will we live if we spend all our funds in this manner? What good would that do him in a few years when we have no money to care for him?

    Sorry, just needed a shoulder to lean on....thanks.
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Oh, I do wish I had the answer for you. I see my difficult child being the same way. She already is very disrespectful and full of hate, and she is only 8. I can't imagine her as she gets older.

    Hugs, you are not alone.
  3. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I can relate to your utter frustration as you have just described life in my house as well!! My daughter is the same way, she curses at me and every member of our family, calls us horrible names, she is violent and by far the most selfish person I have ever met in my entire life. In fact, she is missing and has been since 11/29, she punched me in the face and took off. So I can totally understand how you feel. It is very difficult to live this way. What else can you do when you have already done everything?

    Have you thought about an Residential Treatment Center (RTC)? My daughter was in 3 of them, the state paid for it, however I owe child support for that. I even tried to fight it because the judge told me if I can prove that I have done everything I can for my daughter than I would not have to pay child support. I thought, no problem as I HAVE done it all. I had proof, hospital records, letters from the school district, letters from her therapist, letters from my social workers, I even wrote a letter to my congressman requesting help, I brought all of that and much more to court to prove my case and I lost!!!! What really ticks me off is if I was a drug addicted mom on welfare and my kid was in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) becasue of choices that I made then I wouldn't have to pay a penny. Makes no sense!!! There are services available for our children, they just cost so darn much. It's unfortunate as they have some really reputable places that produce good results but who can afford them??? If you aren't living like Trump then your child misses out. Not fair!!!

    I hope it gets easier for you. {{{HUGS}}} Hang in there. :)
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I wish I had an answer as well. Many hugs.
  5. maril

    maril New Member

    So sorry for you and am sending hugs your way. Going into the teen years, hormone changes, etc., (as I am sure you well know) surely only makes matters worse.