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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
almost 18, talented, troubled
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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 711955" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>Best case scenario: you're right, and your son is sincere about wanting to change and seeking help. He will participate in therapy, quit using illegal substances, use prescribed substances responsibly (as prescribed), and follow all house rules involving school attendance and work. He will respect you, your wife, and his siblings, and he will no longer speak or act in a threatening way toward anybody.</p><p></p><p>More likely scenario: Son has good intentions and wants to change but lacks the self-control and discipline to pull this off. There will be more ugly incidents and episodes. There will be further police involvement. He may end up in juvie despite everyone's best efforts.</p><p></p><p>Worst case scenario: Son is manipulating you to get what he wants (out of juvie, back into a home situation where he can call many of the shots and can slide back into his comfortable, enabled world). Another horrible incident will occur. Son will threaten or actually commit violence against you or another member of the family. Someone will be seriously hurt or killed. Son will be locked up for years.</p><p></p><p>It doesn't sound to me like your family home is the right place for your son. You are susceptible to his manipulations and while it's great that you know this, as of yet, you're still falling into his trap. Perhaps another type of living situation, such as a relative who might be willing to take him on, or even a group home/hospitalization as opposed to juvie, would be better while you learn how to detach from him and set boundaries.</p><p></p><p>I would not take the risk of allowing this young man to live with you at this time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 711955, member: 13303"] Best case scenario: you're right, and your son is sincere about wanting to change and seeking help. He will participate in therapy, quit using illegal substances, use prescribed substances responsibly (as prescribed), and follow all house rules involving school attendance and work. He will respect you, your wife, and his siblings, and he will no longer speak or act in a threatening way toward anybody. More likely scenario: Son has good intentions and wants to change but lacks the self-control and discipline to pull this off. There will be more ugly incidents and episodes. There will be further police involvement. He may end up in juvie despite everyone's best efforts. Worst case scenario: Son is manipulating you to get what he wants (out of juvie, back into a home situation where he can call many of the shots and can slide back into his comfortable, enabled world). Another horrible incident will occur. Son will threaten or actually commit violence against you or another member of the family. Someone will be seriously hurt or killed. Son will be locked up for years. It doesn't sound to me like your family home is the right place for your son. You are susceptible to his manipulations and while it's great that you know this, as of yet, you're still falling into his trap. Perhaps another type of living situation, such as a relative who might be willing to take him on, or even a group home/hospitalization as opposed to juvie, would be better while you learn how to detach from him and set boundaries. I would not take the risk of allowing this young man to live with you at this time. [/QUOTE]
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