First post...Son is older, 39. Long history of drug abuse..Have been in the trenches too long. Rehabs, few good years in recovery, drug charges 6 mos. priso, years of other people enabling, amazing he has survived it all. Was living in mid west with long term girlfriend..She quit her job, he relapsed. We began to help and helped them relocate to west coast where they wanted to be and were motivated to work, they said. One year later and huge amounts of financial support later, we are resentful and.have been trying to cut it off with them for over five months. Ended up with heart problem md says is due to high stress and to cut off the relationship. Fear rules us but we had made some progress, no cash only pay for stuff that can be verified. Didn't pay rent last month til found out we were still on lease and would have to pay 2 months,rent and legal fees..told them if they can come up with rent they can stay month to month otherwise we give 30 day notice and can be released from lease but have to get them out of apartment ourselves...The date we gave them until is the 15th, 5 days away...doesn't look good for them...I know this probably seems like a no brainer, and wonder ehy this seems harder than ever before? .They are completely inept, live in squalor and panhandle daily...we have been in denial and have just kept paying rather than do what seems like the hardest thing in the world. He is a master at instilling fear, and threatening suicide, etc...we believed he was not using and on opiate replacement...I struggle daily wuth denial but things are getting crystal clear harder to deny . Do this hard thing... We have worked all our lives and have 2 other family members with legit severe disabilities that we advocate for and we are retirement age and want to have a life. We live 3000 miles from this son and girlfriend. We want to put the 30 day notice in and block our phones, texts and emails...please tell me how to deal with the grief...and ideas on how to survive this break. Md says talk to him once a month after break.. How does one live the estrangement even though the relationship has been nothing but codependency and loss for many years he is still my child..but that kind of thinking always leads to more enabling. Open to hear your experience strength and hope.