Almost too quite

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by sooooo tired, Jun 23, 2016.

  1. sooooo tired

    sooooo tired soooootired

    So I still haven't spoken with my daughter since April.....I am so much calmer when she isn't stirring up drama, but I guess I need reassurance that it is just ok for me to not talk to her. Sometimes my inner mom rears her head and says This isn't right for you to not be speaking with your daughter! But I am so angry at her for neglecting her son !! She is living with a girlfriend right now, and doesn't have her son with her! I think she is trying to pretend she is single and free with no responsibilities! Not working of course, so obviously she is mooching off of her girlfriend! I haven't seen my grandson for two weeks and when I don't pick him up every weekend I feel like I am neglecting him!! God only knows who watches him while his dad works. I guess I just feel the need to fix everything even though I know that is impossible!!!! I know there are really no answers to this but It just makes me feel good to hear from you guys once in awhile. It reminds me I am not alone!!

  2. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Talk to her only if YOU want to talk to her can you see your grandchild?

    Some things that our kids do are so not okay that we need breaks. You take as long as you need and enjoy the peace.

    I was going to suggest a short e mail likev"justvwanted to say his" but if she is borderline or acts borderline (I forgot)/themselves a short email like that may fuel extreme abuse from her and it could lead to a hurtful fight about her child and you have to decide if shattering your precious peace is with it. Borderline are grateful and usually can't engage in civil, polite conversation. It's all drama.

    Do what you feel is best for you...and all of us will hold your hand. You are fortunate to have other loving children.
  3. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    I say, the body doesn't lie. If you are feeling calmer, the break is a good thing, so enjoy it! Are you on good enough terms with grandson's dad to schedule a fun day with grandson? Maybe taking him to the playground or zoo or something?
  4. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I think it's perfectly normal for adults to go a month without talking to their parents. I'm sure Jabber goes a month without calling his or them calling us. If Easy Kids can do it, why can't you?
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  5. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Wow. I would be heartbroken if my kids didnt call me but once a month! Mine call often. If they didnt (sniff). :missyou:

    Sooo tired, I think its fine though for you to take off much time from your daughter. She isnt nice to you. That is, I feel, way different.

    And, Jabber, I am only talking about ME and how I would feel. Your parents might not care. Course lots of my communication with especially my girls is texting, but they do call a few times a week. the boys like to use the phone and call more than the I couldnt imagine once a month, but that is just me... and me is....eccentric??
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2016
  6. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Well, his parents DO have seven kids. So I doubt they go a week without ONE of them calling!

    But I still doubt it's all that unusual. You don't get home until 6. You end up doing laundry and cooking and washing dishes and generally doing life. Your parents go to bed at 9. Weekends zip by so fast you need a holiday to notice you've had a day off. Lives are lived.
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  7. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Ah, Lil. Now I get it. Six kids areva lot. thebfolks are gettingbtons of attention.
  8. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    My mother has called her mom every night since I can remember. Her brother does, too. I'm not nearly so diligent.

    Doesn't mean I love her any less.

    Wish I had called my grandma more, though, as she is not long for this world.
  9. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member


    Because of the way your daughter is treating her son, I wouldn't call her either.
  10. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I think as a rule girls call more than men. I was sort of teasing Jabber. My two boys are exceptions. Bart is a self proclaimed, unapologetic mamas boy and Sonics autism makes him act a bit younger...he likes to call me for his every move. Its like a real life FB page!
  11. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Hi So T. Yes, it's okay for you not to talk to her. It is healthier for you not to talk to her. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
    I know how much you love your grandson and I hope you will be able to see him soon. I'm sure he misses you too.

    ((HUGS)) to you sweet lady!!
  12. TheWalrus

    TheWalrus I Am The Walrus

    My parents live a pretty good distance from me. I call once every month, month and a half.
  13. sooooo tired

    sooooo tired soooootired

    Thank you my friends!!!...I have no problem seeing my grandson. in fact I think dad likes the break! I have him tonight and tom. He is so good when he is with me!! I have another daughter, and she calls me every single day. and my son calls or texts a couple times a week.I am just so upset with my Difficult Child because she is really ruining her relatuinship with her son!!
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  14. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    But he has you.

    Your daughter is not a mom who will be close to her kids. She isn't wired to do relationships well. She cant. But you can fill that void and im glad you are.