Aly is home

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Just keep swimming, Dec 30, 2007.

  1. Just keep swimming

    Just keep swimming New Member

    Hi family,

    We got a phone call yesterday at about 10am stating Aly needed to be discharged that day by 4pm. I had just come home to catch my breath the day before and hadn't even gotten the laundry started or anything!

    So, back in the truck we go to get her and ended up staying the night there, 2 hour drive each way. And, just as I knew would happen, Aly has been a stink pot since we picked her up. VERY rude, demanding, poking on her sister, just anything that will get a rise out of any of us. This morning I nearly called the psychiatric hospital back and let them hear her pitch her fit about needing to help us clean up and get ready for the ride home. Oy vey!

    She was the "perfect" little angel in the hospital, and just like always, as soon as we drive out of the parking lot of the place, she does a 360 back into monster child!!!! :grrr:

    I am so sick of this. No changes on medications were made. EEG was "normal", she still has to go back on Friday for the MRI and follow up with neurologist the 2nd week in January. Basically, she held it together sooo tightly in the psychiatric hospital that they could not keep her in till after the MRI as was originally planned. Insurance company wouldn't pay for the stay unless she was violent or what have you.

    Her anxiety is still through the roof and she is extremely depressed/agitated, angry with all of us. I will be giving her outpatient psychiatrist a phone call first thing tomorrow morning and see if there is something that they can do.

    I am pretty much thinking there is nothing anyone can or will do to help Aly past all this stuff. We, as parents, just have to try to figure out how not to ever upset Aly. Back to forever walking on eggshells!

    Never mind me, just in a bad place tonight!!

  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    We are in the same place. I wish the staff at the psychiatric hospital were better at getting to the kid's triggers to help them explode at the psychiatric hospital so they can work it out.

    I'm trying to remind myself not to be afraid to take her right back to ER the first violent moment. I'm trying desperately to find the strength I know I will need when Kanga returns. I know you need the same warrior strength to work with Aly.

    I'm sorry she is being so nasty to you. Feel free to scream here anytime!
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Are you allowed to see her when she is in the psychiatric hospital? visiting time, etc???

    Any chance that you could trigger her issues by doing minor things that are not dangerous but that you know she dislikes? Anything so that the staff can "SEE" the behaviors?

    My difficult child held it together for 3 MONTHS in a psychiatric hospital. He had just a few slips and an excellent out of hospital psychiatrist, so he stayed in.

    And it took me deliberately triggering him. Down to wearing a scented lip gloss in a scent he hated.

    BUT when it all came out, it ALL came OUT. And then we could make progress.

    My other idea is a video camera on at home to SHOW the docs the issues?

    I am so sorry she is sick.

  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Vickie, I'm so sorry.

    I can't offer much advice because my son is in a day treatment program right now and definitely displaying his behaviors to the psychiatric staff. I have to say it's somewhat validating.

    I hope you get some answers soon. Hugs.
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I'm so sorry Vickie. This is so typical of many of our difficult children & frustrating at best.

    Along with psychiatrist would calling therapist with some behaviorial interventions be appropriate as well? This weekend therapist had me print out the basic household rules for kt & post them on the fridge. At the bottom I was to (& did) add - no arguments, no exceptions! Each morning I point out the rules to kt & have her read them to me.

    To make it interesting I add something different to her snack choices (food is a big thing right now) so she reads it to make sure she doesn't miss out on anything. Just a suggestion - it's been fairly effective with kt over the last couple of days.

    Take some deep breaths & be prepared to tag off today. Take Aly out in the yard & run off steam as much as possible.

  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Still praying, and sending hugs.

  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Somehow I haven't "recognized" you, evidently, since you changed
    your Board name. I've actually wondered about your family.

    What a shame that there doesn't seem to be much difference between where you were a couple of years ago and where you are
    today. I'm so sorry that it continues to be so difficult. Glad to read that easy child 2 still falls into the "awesome" category.

    I'll add you to my prayers. DDD
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry that the hospital stay didn't help. I hate that walking on eggshell feeling. Sending gentle hugs your way.
  9. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Sorry they sent Aly home without any progress, recommendations, or new medications. I cannot imagine how incredibly frustrating it is to feel there is going to be help only to find yourself back in the eggshell situation again.

    I think two of the suggestions by other posters were good ones - the viddo camera and the trying a trigger while in the psychiatric hospital.

    Vickie, you know I have always had a soft spot for your Aly. It hurts to know that he is unable to maintain despite all the positives in her life. Lots of hugs to you and prayers for Aly.

  10. tammyjh

    tammyjh New Member

    Oh uggghh!!! That happens to us too and its so frustrating. My difficult child's last stay was only 8 days and we spent every day either arguing with her counselor on why she needed to stay or trying to get in touch with her counselor for a meeting...and our calls were not returned. The "treatment team" decided only a few hours after difficult child was admitted that she was "jolly" and stable and needed to go home. My mother had visited her at the hospital and difficult child ordered her out of the room and was very very nasty. Also, she couldn't tolerate husband and I being there for more than 10 minutes before yelling at us to "get out" but they still thought she should come home. Dishcharge day, she was rude, mouthy, nasty the whole time and they still let her leave. The next day she was physically aggressive with me in the van and we've had a few more incidents where she's threatened to hurt me, the kids, and herself but ...... she's "stable" :grrr:

    I feel your frustration