Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Aly wants out!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="OTE" data-source="post: 11651"><p>in my humble opinion get advice from therapist on how to handle this because it really depends on where it's coming from in her mind. </p><p></p><p>Statistically, according to the adoption studies, girls do have more of a yearning to search for bios than boys do. And it typically starts at adolescence. So in my humble opinion, since she is maturing early, this is quite normal.</p><p></p><p>As to the race issue, again I have boys, but it has not been a problem for me as much as it has for you. BUT, it has been the subject of discussion with my kids many, many times over the years. I took a specific approach on this which seems to have worked for us. Same with all of my other adoptive single parent friends/ families. I honestly can't think of one kid in all those who has problems with race. As for wanting to search I only know of one. His mother took him when he was about 17 to his country of origin for a visit. He chose to spend the following Summer there on some kind of exchange or mission program and came home satisfied that he understood a lot more now and had no recurring need to go back. Honestly, race is not nearly as much an issue as new adoptive parents dread. There's plenty of studies and literature on this now and it's just not an issue for the kids (assuming they've grown up in an enlightened environment which certainly Aly has). Having said all that, statistics mean nothing for one child. Aly is a very sensitive child with a lot of reasons to be sensitive (Special Education class, behind in academics, behavior that probably makes her unpopular amongst classmates, etc). Race is just one more issue.</p><p></p><p>One of the big reasons that I have not had a problem with race is that from the time mine were babies (oldest was about 10 mo the first time), we have been active in a group of families of white Moms of different race kids. Many of my now best friends came out of this group so mine have seen kids grow up for 16 yrs now who are in the same family racial situation that they are. I do suggest Vicky that you get in contact with those folks I recommended to you to see about a multi-racial adoptive family support group near you. I believe that it will really help Aly to feel that she does fit in racially and otherwise in some setting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OTE, post: 11651"] in my humble opinion get advice from therapist on how to handle this because it really depends on where it's coming from in her mind. Statistically, according to the adoption studies, girls do have more of a yearning to search for bios than boys do. And it typically starts at adolescence. So in my humble opinion, since she is maturing early, this is quite normal. As to the race issue, again I have boys, but it has not been a problem for me as much as it has for you. BUT, it has been the subject of discussion with my kids many, many times over the years. I took a specific approach on this which seems to have worked for us. Same with all of my other adoptive single parent friends/ families. I honestly can't think of one kid in all those who has problems with race. As for wanting to search I only know of one. His mother took him when he was about 17 to his country of origin for a visit. He chose to spend the following Summer there on some kind of exchange or mission program and came home satisfied that he understood a lot more now and had no recurring need to go back. Honestly, race is not nearly as much an issue as new adoptive parents dread. There's plenty of studies and literature on this now and it's just not an issue for the kids (assuming they've grown up in an enlightened environment which certainly Aly has). Having said all that, statistics mean nothing for one child. Aly is a very sensitive child with a lot of reasons to be sensitive (Special Education class, behind in academics, behavior that probably makes her unpopular amongst classmates, etc). Race is just one more issue. One of the big reasons that I have not had a problem with race is that from the time mine were babies (oldest was about 10 mo the first time), we have been active in a group of families of white Moms of different race kids. Many of my now best friends came out of this group so mine have seen kids grow up for 16 yrs now who are in the same family racial situation that they are. I do suggest Vicky that you get in contact with those folks I recommended to you to see about a multi-racial adoptive family support group near you. I believe that it will really help Aly to feel that she does fit in racially and otherwise in some setting. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Aly wants out!
Top