DS19 went to work today. His latest obsession/compulsion is hiring out DVDs, about 10 at a time each week, plus maybe some games. He claims some of the DVDS only have 20 or 30 mins on (but I know better) and are series of so many episodes. However, when he has these DVDs out, then he is compelled to watch them in one week - 3 or 4 hours or more at a time - so that he can return them without penalty. So, therefore, he is not willing to do anything else to help about the place (bear in mind that I only ask him to do minimal tasks like watering the animals, feeding dogs; bring in wood etc) as he's busy watching tv. He also then is treating me more like a hotel, only coming up for meals, not socialising or treating us like a family. So, when I dropped him off, I told him he was only to get 4 DVDs out max. When I picked him up, he smelt like alcohol already. Which indicated he'd finished work early and called in at the pub or bottle shop. I asked him how many DVDs he got out, and he said 6 so I said he'd better cross the road and return 2 as I'd told him only 4. He refused. Short version, I told him to hop out of the car, if he wasn't willing to return them, as I wasn't taking him home until he did. Argument ensued. He eventually hopped out, I drove away. Home. he messaged, he had returned them, would I come back? I said, sometime, now I am runnign late (I had so much meat to put away yet) and I would pick him up later. He said he'd go to the pub then. I said, well, I won't pick you up at all if that's what you're going to do, you think alcohol will solve everything. i picked him up an hour later and forgot his medication (today was his doctor day) so couldn't take him for the needle. This often happens the day of or befor ehis needle, that he's more unreasonable. He accused me of being controlling. I tried to explain that there's more to life than watching DVDs, I need help about the place. He sees that I want him to do jobs, and he doesn't want to do jobs. He really has no friends, he a hanger on. The 'mates' he thought/thinks he has don't want to have him around, and don't include him. He only manages to get them to include him if he's buying 'stuff' or alcohol for them..... they don't include or invite him to their parties or other outings. He's on the outside all the time. This is what it was like when he was younger too. So, I picked him up and drove him home and went into town. When I got home,I apologised for what I'd said/done and reiterated that I didn't want him wasting his days watching DVDs. I know it's part of who/what he is that this is his current obsession, but I'm trying to change it, is that so wrong? or unreasonable? I'm struggling. Sometimes, I feel he's controlling me because I have to constantly follow after him, remind him of his appointments, take him there, breathe for him practically, as I hold his hand every step of his life. He's hoping for an apprenticeship in butchery, but I have to ring up for him, beg for him.... knowing that he won't be able to keep the job even if I manage to talk them into taking him on. For interviews, I have to nag him to shower, shave, wear tidy clothes, tell him what to say, etc etc. Is this familiar to anyone? I'm struggling. Anyway, thanks for reading this vent. It's nice to know people care.