Today my husband and I met with my sons mobile therapist (MT). During our visit, difficult child called to ask if he could have a home visit this weekend. I said that I wasn't sure because I haven't talked with his lawyer, then I went on to explain that things will be very different now. He said that he didn't understand why. I explained that now he has criminal charges pending and we'll have to be making changes at home after this short-term placement. When he asked what will change, I said that we will now more vigorously enforce our rules. He demanded to know what rules? I didn't want to get into a battle with him but told him that one of the rules will be that he absolutely will not be allowed to get into anybody's car unless we know the person. This has always been a rule, but before when he gave a flimsy explanation of the driver a couple times we just went ahead and let him go. Really, only one time that I can think of, which happened to be the night before I read his text messages and found out he was smoking pot. His text message said that he was in the car with hard-core dealers. He was not happy when I told him that I really needed to end our conversation as I was in the middle of something but I'd be happy to call him back later. His response was, "oh, I guess that's more important than me" and hung up on me. My first thought was that bringing him home after this stay while pursuing an Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) is not a good idea. Nothing seems to be sinking in. He's not accepting any responsibility and refuses to live by our rules. After our meeting ended about an hour later, I called the director of the center where he is. He was in her office saying that he did not want to come home because he is not willing to live by our rules. He said he'd rather go to boarding school, but that is not an option. been there done that and we're not spending another $40K+ per year because he doesn't want to follow our rules. Am I crazy to keep hoping that he's going to change and can be safe in our home??? The MT is suggesting that we send him to a shelter until there's an opening at an Residential Treatment Facility (RTF). The thought breaks my heart because I feel like I'm abandoning him, but I'm terrified to bring him home and risk him blowing up the first time we don't let him do what he wants. I have to think of my husband and two toddlers and be sure to keep us as safe as possible. I feel so sick now and just don't know what to do. I'm afraid if I send him to a shelter, he'll never forgive me and end up worse than he is now. How do I know what is the right thing to do? He has two more weeks where he is now but I'm going to have to make a decision...how do I know what's right for all of us?