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Substance Abuse
Am I crazy or in denial???
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 64887" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I think we all hope our kids will miraculously change. Sadly, that rarely happens. It takes more maturity than most teens, let alone a problem child, has. So, I think that realistically you have to face the fact that he isn't going to change when he comes home unless he truly feels there is no other choice.</p><p></p><p>If he went to a shelter would he stay there or at least let you know where he was going or would you end up having to search for him when it was time to go to the Residential Treatment Facility (RTF)?</p><p></p><p>Given that you have two little ones, I'd be hesitant in letting him come home if you are afraid he would get violent. It is one thing if he shouts and slams doors. Not a pleasant way to live but semi-tolerable. It is another if he throws or smashes things or hits.</p><p></p><p>I'd give him a choice -- come home and follow the rules of the house or go to a shelter to wait out the time. I'd also put the rules in writing and send them to him where he is now so that he can make an "informed" choice. Of course, if he doesn't follow the rules, you would be forced to get him to a shelter as soon as you could. Is this at all feasible?</p><p></p><p>Otherwise, I'd talk to the MT and get her to help find a place he can stay until the Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) is found. I'd ask that she find something a little more restrictive than a shelter where he could simply leave. Maybe a group home or a foster home?</p><p></p><p>I hate the manipulations and games our kids play. They are so draining. Even if you know you are doing the right thing, you end up feeling guilty. You need to protect the family that is home right now even if it means hurting your son. He's old enough to understand he has choices. He may not like those choices, but they are his to make.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 64887, member: 3626"] I think we all hope our kids will miraculously change. Sadly, that rarely happens. It takes more maturity than most teens, let alone a problem child, has. So, I think that realistically you have to face the fact that he isn't going to change when he comes home unless he truly feels there is no other choice. If he went to a shelter would he stay there or at least let you know where he was going or would you end up having to search for him when it was time to go to the Residential Treatment Facility (RTF)? Given that you have two little ones, I'd be hesitant in letting him come home if you are afraid he would get violent. It is one thing if he shouts and slams doors. Not a pleasant way to live but semi-tolerable. It is another if he throws or smashes things or hits. I'd give him a choice -- come home and follow the rules of the house or go to a shelter to wait out the time. I'd also put the rules in writing and send them to him where he is now so that he can make an "informed" choice. Of course, if he doesn't follow the rules, you would be forced to get him to a shelter as soon as you could. Is this at all feasible? Otherwise, I'd talk to the MT and get her to help find a place he can stay until the Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) is found. I'd ask that she find something a little more restrictive than a shelter where he could simply leave. Maybe a group home or a foster home? I hate the manipulations and games our kids play. They are so draining. Even if you know you are doing the right thing, you end up feeling guilty. You need to protect the family that is home right now even if it means hurting your son. He's old enough to understand he has choices. He may not like those choices, but they are his to make. [/QUOTE]
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Am I crazy or in denial???
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